


A House Of Rainbows

by Autumnalpalmetto



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Foster Care, Kid Fic, M/M, Slow Burn, dad andrew, mentions of abuse, mentions of their pasts, the rest of the foxes make small appearances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26914813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumnalpalmetto/pseuds/Autumnalpalmetto
Summary: Andrew Minyard is a family lawyer, helping parents sort out custody battles and teens get emancipated. Occasionally stepping back and fostering kids for a short period of time. His life gets thrown off-kilter when a past client leaves something-or rather someone-precious in his care. Suddenly Andrew is thrown into the world of dress-up and painting nails, late nights and early mornings, jogging strollers and stuffed animals. He only manages to figure it all out when an overly invested babysitter helps him realize he's doing just fine already.
Relationships: Andrew Minyard & Original Character(s), Neil Josten & Original Character(s), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 35
Kudos: 279
Collections: AFTG Big Bang 2020, Avea's Fav Fanfics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Thanks to Leah for the wonderful art](https://leahlisabeth.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Leahelisabeth on AO3](/users/fortheloveofcamelot/pseuds/Leahelisabeth/)
> 
> This will update with two chapters a day for the next seven days for a total of 14 chapters!

Every Monday brought a fresh stack of paperwork to sort through, emails to respond to, and a plethora of calls to return. Become a family lawyer they said, you’ll be helping people they said. Andrew loved his job, getting abusers arrested and survivors into safe lives was fulfilling in a way he had never expected, but there was just so much administrative work. 

He was just getting started when the only paralegal in his firm knocked on his door. Andrew knew she was useful, but he hated that she constantly bothered him throughout the day. He had things to do. 

“What?” Andrew demanded, tone even as usual. 

“There’s a cop here to see you, Mr. Minyard,” Molly answered him with a sweet smile, she knew him well enough to know his attitude wasn’t personal. 

There wasn’t an interview scheduled for the day, but officers tended to stop by when they wanted to, not when he asked them to. Due to the nature of his clients, officers were often witnesses, and he needed to get their side of the events in order to sort out his cases. Andrew stood up to greet him, smoothing his suit jacket down.

Molly stepped to the side and Officer Becker stepped in, closing the door behind himself in Molly’s face. 

“Andrew Minyard?” Becker asked. 

“Anthony Becker,” Andrew mimicked. 

Becker looked unimpressed. “You are a registered foster parent in the District of Columbia, are you not?” 

Andrew nodded. “I am.”

When his firm helped a 16-year-old file for emancipation, Andrew had become a registered foster parent so she could stay with him until his colleague won her case. He’d had to take a month-long leave of absence to do it without causing a conflict of interest, but it was worth it. She was safe for a month, and then he’d helped her get her life settled after they won. Andrew had kept up his credentials in case he needed to do it again, which had happened a handful of times over the last few years. Because his house was always open, he was usually a one night stop for kids whose parents had been hurt until their family came in from out of the area. 

“Are you aware that Marie Watts died yesterday?” Becker asked. 

Andrew sat down. Marie was a mother he’d helped escape an abusive marriage a few months ago. When her husband broke the restraining order, Andrew made sure they charged him to the fullest extent of the law. Last he’d heard, Marie was safe with a new apartment and a well-paying job. 

“How?” Andrew asked. “Where’s Claire? Why are you asking if I’m a foster parent?”

“Claire’s at DHS with her caseworker, you remember Perkins.” Andrew nodded and waited. “Marie was killed in a drive-by shooting last night. We’re releasing her name later today, but we need to make sure Claire is settled first. Would you mind coming down to DHS with me?” 

“In what capacity?” Andrew swallowed dryly. He’d promised Marie she was safe now, and he had failed. The least he could do was look after her daughter’s case. “As her lawyer or as her foster parent?” 

Becker blinked at him. “I was sent here to fetch you not to debrief you.” 

Andrew sighed. He stood up and put his suit jacket back on, following Becker out. They stopped by his partner’s office to let them know he’d be out for the rest of the day. In such a small firm that was a big deal, but Andrew wasn’t thinking about anything other than the child waiting for him.

The drive was tense. Andrew followed behind the cruiser, wishing he was alone so he could speed there. 

-

“Hello, Andrew,” Perkins said, holding out her hand. 

She met them at the door and led him into her office. Becker was one of the officers assigned to guard the offices, so he stayed behind to retake his post. There was already a lawyer waiting there, Andrew had seen him around before but didn’t know his name. He was one of the low-level city prosecutors or something. They shook hands, and all took a seat. 

“As you know, Ms. Watts passed yesterday on her way home from work,” Perkins said. Andrew was getting antsy but tried not to show it. All he needed to know was if her three years old was okay. “Are you aware she had a will?”

“Yes, I had her write one when she was my client,” Andrew said. 

“She changed it recently, did you know that?” Andrew shook his head. “She named you Claire’s guardian.” 

Andrew blinked at her. He knew Marie had no family; it was part of the reason she found it so hard to leave her husband, but he also knew she had friends. Good friends who gave her a place to stay and helped her get on her feet just as much as Andrew had, if not more. 

“Now, normally we have a bit of a process here, but since you’re a registered foster parent, we can place Claire with you today.” Perkins paused and waited. “That is if you accept your charge.”

“Yes.” Andrew cleared his throat. “Yes, of course.”

They did some paperwork, going over the normal briefings of a foster placement and Claire’s routine as they knew it. Then Perkins explained the process of adopting Claire. It could be straightforward and done within six months if no family member came forward to claim her. However, with a living parent in jail and family on his side, this was not a straightforward case. The courts would do what they could, and he knew he was working with one of the good ones. 

Andrew put that all out of his mind and focused on Claire. Baby Claire, that’s what Marie has always called her, though she wasn’t a baby anymore. The last time Andrew saw her was at her third birthday party about three months ago. He remembered how happy she had been, how her mother had swung her around as they danced. 

“Where does she go to daycare?” Andrew asked after the lawyer left with all the documents he needed to get Andrew’s adoption started. 

“Josten’s,” Perkins said with a knowing smile. 

“The battered women’s home?” Andrew knew there was a nicer name for it, but that’s what they called it around town. 

“The man behind Josten’s 'Home for Mother’s’ also runs a daycare out of his home. He helps women get back on their feet however he can.”

Andrew was automatically suspicious. He’d never sent a woman there, but that home had sent more than one woman to his office for legal help. He didn’t know there was one man behind it all. “Why?”

“You’ve never met him?” Perkins asked. “I got the impression you two had met when he said he was glad you were Marie’s lawyer.” 

“I’m the best family lawyer in town, people know me, doesn’t mean I know them.” 

“You’ll know why when you meet him.” Perkins sighed. “His case came up right when I was starting this job about twelve years ago. Worst case of child abuse I’ve ever seen or studied. Ask anyone who’s seen the files, they’ll all say the same. He lived and his mother didn’t, now he helps women like his mom. We picked Claire up from his house last night. Marie was on her way there when it happened. God, he hated letting her go into the system, but he’s not a foster parent.” 

Andrew eyed her. “You trust him?” 

“I send women and children to his women’s home every day.”

“Do you think he’d be okay continuing to watch Claire for a little while?” Andrew asked. He’d get three months off for parental leave once the adoption was final, his office was good about time off when a new child enters the home, but for just a foster placement he’d be using his PTO. “I’d like to keep her life as normal as possible when I can.”

“You’d have to talk to him about that.” Perkins pulled out a business card and flipped it over to show a handwritten number on the back. “He gave me his number last night just in case.” 

Andrew pocketed it and turned as the door opened. Another caseworker walked in holding Claire. 

“Andrew!” she screamed when she saw him. It was shocking that she remembered him. It had been so long since they’d seen each other, and she was so young. 

The woman handed her over, and Claire wrapped her arms around his neck in a death grip. He could barely breathe, but he did nothing to move her. Her little body shook as she cried into his neck. 

“Claire,” Perkins said sweetly. “Do you want to go home with Andrew?” 

Claire nodded into his neck without slowing her sobs. 

They were nice enough to let him borrow a car seat since his was safely tucked away in his garage. Perkins installed it while Andrew walked in circles around the car, patting Claire’s back and swaying from side to side. They were lucky the babysitter had a diaper bag for her because they hadn’t been able to go to her house to collect her things yet. After they closed the investigation they’d be able to give Andrew her clothes and toys, but Andrew wasn’t sure if she’d want them anymore. 

He refused to tell her everything was okay when he didn’t know for sure, so he settled on just saying, “I’ve got you.”

After a few minutes of walking in circles, she cried herself to sleep. Andrew carefully put her in the car seat and buckled her up, waving to Perkins on his way out of the parking lot. 

The drive home was quicker than he expected, it wasn’t often he got to see the Wednesday traffic at 11 am. He pulled into his garage and turned the car off, letting Claire sleep for a little while longer before he tried to take her inside. After emailing his office about the situation and notifying them he was taking the next day off, he relaxed into the seat. 

His three-bedroom townhouse didn’t have much in the way of a yard, but it was close to a park and good schools. The master bedroom was his alone, taking up the entire top floor. One floor down were the two kids’ bedrooms and a large bathroom. Andrew had one room set up as a nursery and the other set up for older kids or teens. Since he rarely got placements in his home, he kept those doors shut, basically ignoring that floor completely. The bottom floor was basically just the garage which left the second floor for an open-plan kitchen, dining, and living area. It wasn’t the prettiest or most expensive house, but it did what he needed it to. If he wasn’t a foster parent, he would have chosen a smaller, nicer condo for himself, but he had to keep at least one child ready room at all times. 

Andrew watched Claire sleep through the rear-view mirror. Long dark lashes graced her cheeks, she blinked twice and her hazel eyes looked directly at him in the mirror. 

“Good Morning,” Andrew said, attempting to smile at her. “How was your nap?” 

Claire rubbed her eyes and yawned, glaring at him when she finished. Not a morning person then, Andrew completely understood that. He got out of the car and walked to her door, making a face at her through the glass. She continued to glare. Once she was out of her seat, she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. 

Unlocking the door while carrying her was a challenge, he’d put his keys in his pocket out of habit and then had to dig them out without disrupting her. Andrew closed the garage door with the button and walked into the house, going straight to the sofa and settling down. He still had his stuffy suit and tie on, but Claire had fallen asleep again, so he suffered through it. 

After her nap, Andrew showed her the nursery. There was a crib on one wall and a toddler bed on the other with a colorful rug in the middle. Claire found a box of toys all by herself and dumped them out in the middle of the room. She sat down and started playing with them, looking over to Andrew still standing in the doorway. After a few minutes, he got the hint and took his jacket and tie off so he could sit on the floor and play with her. 

The rest of the day went surprisingly well. She ate lunch and dinner with no complaints, took a bath, and splashed him, then fell asleep on Andrew’s lap as he rocked her and read her stories. Andrew placed her in the toddler bed and tucked her in tightly, putting her favorite teddy bear in her arms. 

He walked down to the kitchen and poured himself a drink, then dug the baby monitor out of the junk drawer. Only one child under one-year-old had been placed in his house, but he found he liked to be able to hear toddlers and preschools too. Making them feel safe was his number one priority, and if that meant a baby monitor so they could call to him without getting out of bed, he was happy to oblige. 

After one drink, he put the bottle away and headed upstairs to bed. He was still in his suit and all he wanted was to change and pass out. Within seconds of laying down, the baby monitor crackled and Claire’s cries fled into his room. He jumped out of bed and ran down to her, taking the stairs two at a time. 

Claire reached up to him as soon as he entered the room. 

“I’m here, baby,” Andrew said as he picked her up. He sat down in the rocking chair with her. “I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

Her cries stopped, but she was still awake. She patted his arm and hugged him tighter. By the time she was drifting off again, Andrew was ready to pass out. He wanted to just take her to his bed; he knew that was a normal thing to do, but she wasn’t his child and there was no telling what dark place his dreams would go to if he did that. Instead, he sat and rocked her, drifting in and out of sleep all night. When the sun started to come up, Andrew carried her downstairs, and they slept on the couch for a little while. 

If the first day was calm, the second day was hell. 

Claire refused to eat anything all day and spent most of her time laying on the floor screaming and crying. She napped only because she cried herself to sleep and then woke up crying not even half an hour later. Her caseworker and a child psychologist had explained to her that mommy wasn’t coming home in age-appropriate language, but she was only three she didn’t understand it yet. 

Around dinner time Claire laid across his lap as she cried. All Andrew could do was wish he could help her. All of his ideas ran out hours ago; nothing from songs and TV to hugs and kisses helped. He started patting her back in a rhythm, and she stopped crying. 

“Drum,” he said, not knowing what else to do. 

“Claire drum,” Claire said. 

“Sure.” Andrew patted her back again. “Claire drum.”

Once she stopped crying she was fine, she’d cried herself out. Crying one second, calm the next, like a switch had been thrown. Andrew was too tired to make dinner, so he threw a bunch of fruit and spinach in a blender. Claire sat on the counter, hugging his arm and watching him. 

“For me?” Claire asked.

“Do you want some?” Andrew asked, surprised she was willing to taste it. He poured her a small glass and handed it to her with a spoon. “Try it.”

They ate their smoothies sitting on the kitchen counter together, one spoonful at a time. 


	2. Chapter 2

Andrew hated having to go to work just as Claire was getting settled, but he needed to sort things out at the office so he could take another few days off with her. Her babysitter had no problems watching her last minute, and Claire was excited to see him again after her two days away. 

The morning was rough. She refused to get dressed, threw two bowls of cheerios on the floor, and then refused to put her shoes on no matter how many times Andrew asked. They ended up heading off to Neil’s home, both still in their pajamas. Neil would have to sort Claire out himself while Andrew quickly rushed home to shower and get ready for work. 

When they pulled up to the house, Andrew was in awe. It wasn’t quite a mansion, but it was bigger than the average house in the area. After Andrew pulled into the driveway, he double-checked the address on his phone to make sure maps hadn’t taken him somewhere he shouldn’t be. Claire whined in her car seat, struggling to get out and yelling she was stuck, so he knew he was in the right place. Andrew grabbed the diaper bag from the passenger seat and then got Claire out of her car seat. She wanted to walk to the door herself, but Andrew wouldn’t let her without her shoes on. He did let her knock, though. 

The door opened suddenly on the second knock, and then Claire was leaning out of his arms to a short man with bright auburn hair and even brighter blue eyes. That wasn’t the most striking thing about him though, his face was covered on one side with burn scars and on the other side with long narrow scars. Neil took Claire from him and wrapped his arms around her, showing lines upon lines of parallel burn and knife scars. Neil started lightly drumming on her back as he stepped to the side and let Andrew in the door. 

“Hey Claire Drum,” Neil said as she rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. That explained why that was the only thing to calm her down last night. “Are you wearing a diaper? You don't wear diapers. You’re a big girl.”

Neil glared at Andrew over her head. Claire didn’t answer him, she just rubbed her hand over his cheek as he rocked her from side to side. 

“When I picked her up from her caseworker, she was in a pull-up, I just assumed,” Andrew said. 

He looked around Neil’s house to avoid his look of disappointment. Andrew didn’t need to feel like a failure on his third day on the job. The front door opened into a formal living room and dining room with an office and stairs to the right, there was a small hallway with coat hooks as a child’s height that led to a set out double doors.

Neil huffed. “Yeah, well, they don’t know everything about the kids they take in, they do their best to fill in the gaps based on age and observation. Claire has been potty trained for about nine months, huh, baby?”

Claire nodded her head and Neil hugged her tighter. He opened the door to the office showing a playroom set up like a farmer's market, there were two stalls on opposite walls against the far wall there was a cash register and conveyor belt.

“Right now we’re doing markets, but I change this every month,” Neil said as he led Andrew into the room. “Last month was Emergency workers, like firefighters and paramedics. The month before was a post office.”

Andrew nodded. “Very cool.”

Neil led him down the hall, pointed out the hooks for Andrew to put the bag down on, then he opened the double doors. They led into an open living, dining, and kitchen area. There was a bookshelf full of boxes of toys under the TV, blankets on the couch, two high chairs at the table, and a drying rack full of sippy cups on the counter, it looked like somewhere children could feel at home. Neil pointed out the snack cupboard the kids could get into themselves, the cupboard of things only he was allowed in, and then led him down the hall to the left. It housed the door to the garage and laundry room, a half bath, and the master bedroom. 

“This is the kid's room,” Neil said as he opened the door. “They all nap in here at noon every day.”

The room had two sets of short bunk beds sitting opposite each other, another set on the wall between them, and a crib on the shortest wall that had a doorway in it. Neil pointed to the door.

“That’s the closet where I keep a few changes of clothes in every size, and diapers, stuff like that. And then there's a bathroom back there too, but we only use it if we really need to. Sometimes I just need to give a kid a bath in the middle of the day. Babies don’t care about getting food in their hair.”

Andrew poked his head in the doorway, the closet was on one side and the bathroom on the other. It surprised him how organized the closet was, all the shelves had tags saying the sizes, and there were dividers with the hangers to keep sizes separate. The bathroom looked empty. There was one bottle of baby body wash and that was it in the whole room. 

Neil drummed on Claire’s back as they walked back out to the kitchen. 

“She hasn’t eaten breakfast yet,” Andrew said. “She threw two bowls of cheerios on the ground even though she asked for Cheerios.”

“Do you want some Cheerios Claire Bear?” Neil asked her.

When she nodded, he set her down at the table and went to the cupboard. He grabbed a child-sized cup and poured Cheerios in it, then handed it to her. She started picking them out one by one and eating them. 

Andrew put his head in his hands. “Milk.”

“What?” Neil asked.

“I gave her a bowl of cereal with milk.”

“Oh, yeah.” Neil chuckled. “She hasn’t quite gotten the whole bowl of cereal thing yet.”

Andrew rubbed his hands over his face again. “Would you do me a favor and write everything down for me? Just... everything.”

Neil walked over to a file folder on the counter and handed it to Andrew. “Here you go.”

He took the folder and opened it, scanning through the pages. It had her favorite clothes, toys, parks, foods, and activities. Then went on to a detailed account of her routine, both for days she was with Neil and days she was at home with her mom. 

Claire put her cup down and reached for Neil, having only eaten half of it. 

“What do you want to do today?” Neil asked her, pushing her hair back out of her face.

“Park,” Claire said. She laid her head down on Neil’s shoulder and looked at Andrew. “Can Andrew come too?”

“I think Andrew has to go to work.” Neil started to rock her from side to side. “Maybe if we go in the afternoon, he can meet us there.”

Claire nodded. “Yeah.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Neil drummed on her back as he gave Andrew an expectant look. “Andrew?”

“Of course.” Andrew’s day was already full to the brim with things he needed to do, but Claire was the most important thing in his world at the moment, the rest could wait. 

Andrew left Claire in Neil’s capable hands and headed off to shower and get to work. As much as he needed to get things done, he also needed some child-free time. All the stupid things he had done wrong over the last few days were adding up in his head. Putting her in a pull up because child protective services did, giving her a bowl of cereal instead of just cheerios like she had specifically asked for, being unable to get her to calm down no matter what he did. Andrew had to stop himself from going too far down that rabbit hole. There was bound to be an adjustment period. Now that he had every detail about her, these minor mistakes would end. 

He put the folder down on the kitchen counter and forced himself to leave it at home as he headed off to work. Work demanded a clear head, which would not happen if he kept looking over at that folder every two minutes. Once he got into his office, he pushed Claire out of his mind and got to work. It wasn’t difficult to do with the amount of paperwork and phone calls he had to do; he worked straight through his lunch break, only coming up for air when Neil texted him the address of the park they were going to. It was one that Andrew had never been to, but boasted of being good for toddlers and smaller children. 

After checking in with his partner, Andrew quickly changed into more park appropriate clothing and headed off. He had had a successful day at the office, but his briefcase was still packed with things he needed to do at home over the weekend. After he finished his calls and meetings, all he had left was paperwork he could get done after Claire went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The park wasn’t as crowded as he had expected. A few kids were milling about on their bikes, but other than that it was empty. Andrew found Neil sitting on a bench watching as Claire climbed around the toddler-sized play structure, much smaller than the ones at the park near his house. He sat down next to Neil and watched her climb up a chain ladder. Neil’s hand twitched like he was holding himself back from helping her. 

“Can she do that herself?” Andrew asked. 

She moved slowly up the ladder. It was only a few feet high. She wouldn’t seriously hurt herself if she fell, but she was moving at a snail’s pace. 

Neil sighed. “She can, but she falls off of it a lot. Ah, I wish she’d let me help her.”

“She doesn’t want your help?” 

“Nope,” Neil said. “She pushes me away. ‘I can do it, Neil. I can do it.’ Very independent.”

Andrew nodded. “I’ve noticed. How was her day?”

“Rough.” Neil tapped his hand on his leg a few times. “She barely ate anything, and she spent her entire nap on my lap, I couldn’t move her off, she’d freak out.”

Andrew ran his hand over his beard as he thought. “Is there anything I should do?”

“Be patient with her. Love her.” Neil finally turned and looked him in the eye. “She’ll let you know what she needs, you just need to pay attention.”

Claire ran over and climbed on Neil’s lap, holding his hand as he wrapped his arm around her. She looked comfortable there, more so than she did in Andrew’s house. 

“How was your day?” Andrew asked her. 

She shrugged. “Good.”

Andrew tried to smile at her. “Yeah? Did you have fun with Neil?” 

Claire nodded, then pointed at him. “No smiles.”

Andrew furrowed his brow and tilted his head, trying to make sense of what she meant. “Excuse me?”

“She can tell when you’re faking it,” Neil said, looking him over. “Be genuine or don’t do it at all.”

“Okay.” Andrew nodded. 

He was trying to be the parent Claire was used to having; he hadn’t realized that his efforts were so transparent. Andrew sighed as he thought. Claire was used to something he could never be. Instead of trying, and failing, to live up to an impossible standard, Andrew needed to be himself. He wasn’t sure who he was as a parent, but he and Claire would find out together. 

“Did you have a good day at work?” Neil asked. 

“Busy, hectic, productive.” It was better than he had expected, but not as useful as he had wanted it to be. 

“Hey Claire,” Neil said as he bounced his knee with her on it. “Do you want to show Andrew the park?”

Claire climbed off of Neil’s lap and grabbed Andrew’s hand. Her hand was so small she was only holding two of his fingers. Andrew stared at it as she led him to the play structure. The idea that such a tiny person was now completely dependent on him was nerve-wracking, the only reason he was able to function was because she needed him to. 

“Stairs,” Claire said as she climbed the first step. “Come on, Andrew.”

Andrew followed her up the stairs, across the rickety bridge, and to the top of the tower where she made him sit on the slide and climbed on his lap. 

“Go, go, go,” she said, patting his hand. “Weee.”

She screamed the entire way down, right in Andrew’s ear, but he didn’t even mind because it was such an improvement over her mood the last two days.

After a few more trips down the slide they went back to Neil. Andrew helped Neil load up the stroller, taking the chance to learn what Neil thought was important to bring on an outing, then left them to walk back while he drove over. As he was backing out, Andrew glimpsed the car seat, a now permanent fixture in his car. On the way to the park after work, he had dropped the loaner car seat off at social services and installed his own. The black beast took up an extraordinary amount of room in his sedan. When he was a child car seats were just a plastic seat with a cover, this one was padded and well protected from all sides. Andrew knew he couldn’t protect Claire from everything in life, so he made sure she would be as safe as physically possible in his car. 

He pulled into the driveway before Neil got back, taking the time to look over Neil’s giant house again. If he moved farther out of the city, he might be able to afford a place like this someday. One big enough for Claire to grow in, instead of a cramped townhouse. 

Neil walked up behind his car, waving as he got closer. Claire was asleep in the stroller, which wasn’t surprising given how many times she’d woken up throughout the night. Neil carefully picked her up without waking her, leaving the stroller on the front porch, and going into the house. Andrew followed, looking around to see what had changed throughout the day. The playroom door was open, showing a well played in room with most of the market foods on the floor. In the living room, there were books on the couch and toys on the floor. Further in the house, Andrew could see even more signs of Claire, with new artwork on the fridge and crayons scattered around the table. 

Neil sat on the couch, leaning back awkwardly to make Claire more comfortable. “Do you want me to wake her up?”

Andrew sighed, chewing on his cheek as he thought. It was too late for a nap if he wanted her to go to sleep at her normal time, however she hadn’t been sleeping well at his house, and any sleep was better than none.

“Let her sleep,” Andrew said as he sat down next to Neil. 

Claire turned toward him, looking more peaceful than she had since he got her. At his house she slept lightly, looking uncomfortable or even pained. Andrew was aware enough to admit that she needed Neil more than she needed him right now. Neil was her only constant as everything in her life changed around her. Andrew would be there forever, hopefully, but Neil was the one who could get her through today.

“How many kids do you care for?” Andrew asked quietly, half to make conversation and half because he wanted to know he was letting his child stay in a good environment. 

“Legally my max at one time is six children, I only do that on weekends though. Most days I have three or four.” Neil pointed over to the nine coat hooks by the stairs. “There are nine children total right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m seeing them all every day. Fridays I normally have three. Hazel is sick today and Juniper is visiting her grandma.” 

“You handle six children by yourself?”

Neil laughed. “It’s not as hard as you think. With the exception of Zeb, who is nine months old, they’re all potty trained, really it’s like teaching a preschool, plus one baby sometimes.”

“Huh,” Andrew said, letting his head fall back onto the couch. “Here I am, barely handling one, and you’re fucking super dad with six.”

“I operate from 7 am to 6 pm, with most kids being gone by 5 pm, which means I have all night to myself. You have a job, and now you get to come home and have the wonderful second job of parenting.”

“Speaking of jobs,” Andrew said as he stared at the ceiling. “How much do I owe you?”

“What?” Neil asked, sounding surprised. “Josten’s is a charity, there’s no charge for any of the services, including living there. I live off of the millions my father left behind when he died. No charge.”

“I can afford to pay you,” Andrew said firmly. “I should pay you.”

Neil rubbed his hand over Claire’s back. “I mean this is the nicest way possible, I literally would not notice if you paid me. It would make no difference in my bank account.” 

“How did you make that much money?” 

They were finally getting to the information that Andrew needed to know. What was Neil involved in? What kind of man was he? How did he get to this place where he had so much money he didn’t charge for a service? How could his father have left so much behind when he died and not put any conditions on it? Andrew hadn’t had any time to look up the news stories about the opening of Josten’s, but he knew they were out there. Something with that much of an impact on the community didn’t just pop up overnight without at least a little fanfare. 

“My father was the Baltimore butcher.” 

Now that was news. The man who terrorized Baltimore for years, suddenly taken down overnight right after Andrew had started college. Neil checked to make sure Claire was still fast asleep before continuing. 

“And he killed my mother while his girlfriend did this to me.”

That explained the scars then, Perkin’s wasn’t kidding when she said it was the worst case of child abuse she had ever seen. Almost every inch of Neil’s visible skin was covered in scars, some overlapping others. Andrew nodded for Neil to continue. 

“When he died, the feds took all of his assets. He was smart though, a good chunk of it was in my mom’s name and they couldn’t touch that. She wasn’t connected to any crimes and their investigation showed all her assets were perfectly legal.” Neil tilted his head to look Andrew in the eye. He looked weirdly unaffected by the conversation. “So I inherited everything. Sold the properties back to their rightful owners for cheap and cashed out everything I could.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes, there was no way that was the entire story. “How much?”

“About five million dollars,” Neil said looking uncomfortable saying it out loud. “Half went into opening Josten’s and the other half means I never have to charge parents. If I can keep even one kid from going through what I did, it’s all worth it.”

“Have you?” Andrew asked. 

Neil looked at the ceiling, licking his lips as he thought. “Honestly? I have no idea. I hope so. I really do hope so.”


	4. Chapter 4

They let Claire sleep for another hour. After a few minutes, Andrew went to his car and got his briefcase, a little work now meant less stress later when Claire couldn’t go to sleep. He managed to get most of his research done for a new client. He had to sort through back taxes her husband had neglected to pay and she was on the line for. The best way to keep someone under your control is to take their money away, unfortunately, it was something he saw more often than not with his clients. The forensic accountant had sent everything over earlier in the week and he was just getting to it now thanks to everything that had happened. Luckily, his client more than understood the demands of being a single parent.

Every few minutes he’d look over at Neil and Claire on the couch. Neil was playing on his phone while Claire napped peacefully. Andrew was not jealous or envious, those were useless emotions, however, he was annoyed that he couldn’t do as much for Claire as Neil could. Claire needed a parent who knew her, who she felt comfortable and safe with, and Andrew wasn’t there yet. It might take a while for them to get there together. 

When she woke up, she clung to Neil like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping her together. Neil rocked her for a moment while Andrew packed up his laptop and paperwork, then handed her over to him. He froze when he realized what Neil was doing. She needed him more than she needed Andrew. 

Claire willingly made the transfer with no fuss, wrapping her arms around Andrew and laying her head on his shoulder. Her shaky sigh made his eyes burn for a blink or two, then he was back to normal. She ran her hand over his shoulder, soothing herself. Neil left the room, coming back with a stuffed crocodile and handing it to her. Claire grabbed it and hugged it close. 

“Look,” she said as she leaned back in his arms. “It’s my cockidile.”

“Your crocodile?” Andrew held back a laugh at her mispronunciation. 

Claire nodded. “He eats bad guys.”

She bit at the air and Andrew felt a small smile make its way onto his face. “Does he now?”

“Mhm, and, and, and, he eats ‘em.” She bit at the air again to prove her point. 

“Wow,” Andrew said, playing along. If that’s what it took to make her feel safe he wasn’t going to argue. “Do you think he wants to come to our house?”

Claire looked to Neil, then back to Andrew when he nodded and smiled at her. “Yeah, and he can show my fox and my bunny and my Heffalump how to eat bad guys too.”

“That is a great idea.” Andrew hugged her close. “Ready to say goodbye to Neil?”

Her brows furrowed as she processed his words. She looked between them both with wet eyes, finally laying her head down on Andrew’s shoulder with a small nod. Andrew rubbed his hand over her back, rocking her in the same way Neil had earlier. 

“Don’t worry Claire, you’ll see him again on Monday,” Andrew said trying to console her. He didn’t think it helped much as he felt tears drip on him, soaking through his shirt. 

Neil walked over and rubbed her back, placing a small kiss in her hair. “Hey, Claire Bear. Andrew’s going to take good care of you, okay? Just like he has been for the last few days, and I will see you on Monday.”

“I don’t want Andrew,” Claire whispered, “I want mommy.”

“Oh baby, I know.” Neil rubbed his hand through her hair and down her back. “I know you do.”

-

She didn’t cry at all on the way home, which was almost worse than if she had. When she cried, he knew what she was feeling and had some idea on how to soothe her, but when she went quiet, he had nothing. Claire clung to him when he got her out of the car seat, so he did the only thing he could think of, which was rock her back and forth as he walked around the house. She had one hand wrapped around her crocodile and the other clinging to Andrew’s shirt. It wouldn’t survive such a beating, and he found himself not bothered by it. Amazing what a just few days did to his priorities. A ruined work shirt would have pissed him off a few days ago, and now it didn’t matter at all. What mattered was Claire finding some sort of comfort. 

After a long bout of internal debate, and texting Neil to make sure it was okay and then double-checking with the caseworker who had given him her personal phone number, Andrew let Claire sleep in his bed. Neil was surprised he hadn’t already, a grieving three-year-old needed him, what more was there to it?

Neither of them slept well, Andrew woke up every time she moved and Claire woke up multiple times throughout the night, but it was still more sleep than either of them had gotten in the last few days. 

They spent all of Saturday out and about. He let Claire lead him around the mall, up and down the escalators for almost an hour straight. Claire picked out some new clothes, it was interesting to watch her wander around the mall looking for things she liked. She didn’t care about colors, anything with a strong pattern or a pretty picture was okay, but she only picked out dresses and skirts. Even then, most of the skirts were overalls, so they were held up with straps. Andrew texted Neil to ask what she normally wore and learned she hated waistbands. She accepted a few pairs of leggings and tights that Andrew threw in to keep her warm, but refused any type of real pants or jeans. 

In a last-ditch attempt, Andrew showed her a pair of long overalls from the boy’s section, they were green with a dinosaur on the front. He wanted her to have something with more coverage as it got colder outside. Claire looked at them for a moment with her eyes narrowed, tilting her head to the side as she examined them. 

“I love them,” she exclaimed, a smile taking over her face. 

Andrew picked up an orange pair too. “Do you want more?”

Claire grabbed the green ones from his hands and shoved the orange ones away. “No orange. Only my green.”

“Perfect,” Andrew said, trying not to laugh. Her thought process never made any sense to him, yet it was incredibly interesting. 

Until now, Andrew had never wanted children. He wanted to help children, but one living in his house long term was not something he had expected. His life was meticulously organized, everything from his stapler to his car had its place. Nice townhouse, respected job, fancy suits, none of this fit in well with children. 

In less than a week, his life had gone from that to smoothies and cereal spilled on the kitchen floor, toys on every surface, a bathtub with crayon markings up the wall because bath crayons were a thing apparently, and sleepless nights. Yet, he wouldn’t change any of it for the world. 

As he drove around aimlessly with Claire asleep in the backseat on the way home from the mall, Andrew wondered if that was why Marie chose him. He reorganized his entire life around this child. Work came second from the moment he heard she needed him. How many people would be willing to give up life as they knew it like that? He wasn’t particularly rich, but he was well off. Enough so that it would have been easy for him to hire a nanny to come to his house and care for Claire while he went and lived his life as normal. 

He looked at Claire in the mirror and knew he would never be that kind of parent, giving her off to Neil for a day was hard enough, giving her to someone else to raise for him would be impossible. Not everyone was cut out to be a parent, hell Andrew didn’t think he was until a few days ago, and somehow Marie had seen through all the people in her life enough to choose the right person for the job.

Andrew wasn’t the type of man to cry. Not for masculinity’s sake, but because he had forgotten how many years ago, as a small child, and yet he found himself tearing up as he drove through the streets of Palmetto. 

“Are we almost home?” Claire asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. “I have to go potty. Andrew, I have to go potty.”

On the next loop around their neighborhood, Andrew pulled into their driveway and quickly pulled her out of her car seat. He left their bags in the car, running up the stairs to the bathroom. 

“You’re funny,” Claire said as she sat on the toilet. “Why did you run?”

“Because you had to go potty,” Andrew said from the doorway. 

Claire sent him a judgemental look. “You’re not supposed to run on stairs, Neil said so.”

“You’re supposed to be going potty,” Andrew said in fake annoyance. He really needed to get a list of Neil’s rules, because he was hearing that more often than he liked. 

Sometimes Claire said ‘mommy said so’ but that usually upset her. More often she told him ‘Neil said so’ and it was getting annoying. Some of Neil’s rules made sense in a group setting, but not when it was just the two of them. Neil had a rule that the kids had to eat at the table, while Andrew let Claire eat sitting on the counter or the barstool, even the couch if they were watching a movie. 

When she finished, Andrew threw all of Claire’s new clothes in the wash and they headed up to her room to play. She used all of the toys he had, and it was becoming clear which ones were for her age group and which ones were not. Claire handed him the daddy out of the little people set as she took the mommy. They took all the farm animals and mixed them with the zoo animals until the floor was covered in more than Andrew knew he owned. 

Claire laughed when Andrew called the animals by the wrong name, taking joy in knowing more than he did, and correcting him. She showed him where they lived on the farm and in the zoo set and told him everything she knew about them. It wasn’t much in the grand scheme of things, however; it was a lot for a three-year-old. She liked animals and dinosaurs and stars. She didn’t like any mythical creatures, even unicorns. If he mentioned them she made sure to tell him they weren’t real. 

They were finally starting to get to know each other. As they settled into playing together more and more they learned more about each other.


	5. Chapter 5

Andrew took the entire week of the funeral off of work. Josten’s Home for Mothers was paying for the funeral, apparently it was a policy of theirs to help domestic abuse cases, even when the people involved didn’t live in their homes. A woman named Dan ran the show, living on-site as the home’s manager. She organized everything for the funeral, calling multiple times to ask Andrew how involved he wanted Claire to be. 

The caseworker set Claire up with weekly therapy appointments, which Andrew went to and sat in the hallway for. He was welcome in if Claire needed him, but so far the therapist had been able to handle the situation herself. Andrew used the free hour to read up on grief in children, trying to prepare himself to be the best parent he could. 

He asked Neil about Dan, if she was someone he could trust with Claire. Neil told him more than he needed to. Dan was the first woman Josten’s Home for Women helped. They gave her a place to stay when she wanted to leave sex work at a local strip club and covered her legal expenses for breaking her contract. Technically, she was only a dancer, but the subtext—what Neil refused to say to protect her privacy—hinted at more. 

Andrew was torn when it came to letting Claire go to the funeral, seeing people she barely knew crying over her mother and offering condolences wouldn’t be good for her, but getting a real goodbye could be. He hoped. 

Dan set up a meeting the day before so Claire could look around the funeral home and decide what she wanted to do. Outside the building Andrew let her therapist explain what a funeral was to her, as she sat in his lap and clung to him before the meeting. The therapist came with them to check everything out and talk Claire through anything she didn't understand. They met Dan and her husband Matt at the front gate for the tour. Matt was a tall man covered in needle marks, and Neil hadn’t mentioned him at all during his discussion of Dan. Andrew took a breath and let go of his prejudices about people like Matt.

They all shook hands and went into the building to meet the funeral director. Andrew let out a sigh of relief when he walked in and saw just how much Dan had done for Marie. Josten’s was a charity, but they spared no expense. The room was decorated well, with empty vases waiting to be filled with flowers, tables filled with memories, family photos from when she was a child, and more from her life over the last few months. There was nothing from her marriage, no signs of her unhappy past were present. There was a story of a happy girl who grew into a loving mother. 

Claire had refused to take anything from their home when she was offered it, she declined even her favorite blanket and stuffed animal. Andrew asked Neil to look through it and pick out her favorite things so he could box it up and keep it for later. Most of Marie’s things weren’t worth keeping, but what little there was they boxed up to give to Claire when she was older. At three she wanted nothing to do with those memories, but at twelve or twenty she might. Right now, remembering her mother was too painful to bear. 

Dan explained how the event would go to Andrew, preparing him for anything Claire might need. She saved a seat at the front for them, as well as one at the back, whatever Claire needed. As they were leaving Matt pulled Andrew to the side, leaving Claire with Dan for a moment. 

“No one from Claire’s father’s side was invited, but they have been informed of the funeral.” Matt looked extremely angry about the idea, barely holding it in. “I can’t force them to leave if they come. However, I will escort them out if they cause any problems. You are her legal guardian, they can not take her from you.”

The idea that they would come had never occurred to Andrew. So far, none of Claire's remaining family had tried to claim her, but it had only been a week and a half, they had months to do anything before the adoption process would even start.

Andrew nodded. “Thank you.”

Claire walked over and grabbed his hand, stopping the conversation in its tracks.

“Bye-bye,” Claire said sternly. 

“Yeah, we can go home now.” 

In the car Claire seemed fine, she did not comprehend why they were there in the slightest. When they got home, she wanted to play with him, dragging him up the stairs and into her room, only to start crying when she sat on the floor. 

Andrew wrapped her in a hug and rocked from side to side, copying what he had seen Neil do the week before. 

“Is Mommy coming home?” Claire asked. 

“No baby,” Andrew said quietly. “Mommy is not coming home.”

“Mommy died?” Claire asked between sobs. 

“Yes Claire, Mommy died.” Andrew picked her up and carried her downstairs to sit on the couch. “It’s very sad when people die, isn’t it?”

Claire nodded as her sobs slowed down. They spent the rest of the night watching movies until Claire fell asleep on his lap. He carried her up to his room, placing her in the center of his bed as he took a quick shower and got ready to go to sleep. When he laid down she was an arm’s length away, but by the time he fell asleep she had her head nestled on his stomach. 

The next morning Andrew debated even going to the funeral. Claire went back and forth between wanting to go, saying she did one second, and saying she didn’t the next. She didn’t fully understand what the event was, but she knew mommy’s friends would be there. Seeing them seemed to be the problem, she wanted to because she loved them, but she didn’t want to be reminded of her mother. Or so Andrew gathered from her three-year-old ramblings. 

Andrew dressed in a button-up and a soft black sweater, nice but not work formal. He decided to let Claire pick out her own clothes. She liked to dress in bright colors and fun patterns, not the best for a funeral, but if it made her feel better, that’s all that mattered. Bright skirts and the green overalls were vetoed immediately, as was anything involving tights. Finally, she settled on a red, Minnie Mouse shirt and a rainbow tutu.

“Perfect,” she said as she twirled around the room. 

“Wow,” Andrew said as he watched her. “Look at how big your skirt gets when you spin.”

Claire smiled up at him. “Light up shoes. Lights, lights, lights.”

They dug through the closet until they found two separate light up shoes. They didn’t match at all and were both right feet, but that’s what Claire wanted, so that’s what she got. Her shoes had a way of going missing, disappearing from plain sight every time Andrew turned around. Even with his incredible memory, he had no idea where the two left shoes had gone. 

In the car on the way there, Claire sang the wheels on the bus, excited for the day ahead of her. It pained Andrew to see just how little she understood about the event, but he tried not to show it. Her not understanding was probably the only reason she wanted to go. 

When they got there, they were greeted at the door by Dan and Matt, dressed in matching black suits and handing out programs. They were almost the last people there, walking into a full room already. Andrew had left fashionably late so Claire wasn’t forced to greet each person as they walked in. People stood around the edges looking at the pictures and memories, while others stood in the middle of the room talking. There were more people than Andrew was expecting, at least a hundred, and they still had a few minutes for more to join before the service started. The vases were filled with bouquets of what had to have been Marie’s favorite flowers. His eyes were drawn to the only other person he knew, Neil, standing in the middle of a group of women all towering over him. 

“Neil,” Claire said, leaning toward him from her place in Andrew’s arms. 

Andrew walked across the room, thankful that no one stopped him to talk to Claire. 

“Hi Claire Bear,” Neil said as he took her from Andrew’s arms. She had nearly fallen out from how far she was leaning to get to him.

Claire ran her hands over his cheeks, feeling his scars. It was something that ground her, calming her down quickly. Andrew had scars covering both of his forearms that he let her touch occasionally when she needed extra comfort. When Claire rested her head on Neil’s shoulder he turned back to the conversation, quickly introducing Andrew and jumping back into whatever he was saying. 

Andrew didn’t listen, opting to watch Claire instead. She popped her thumb in her mouth, sucking on it lightly, it was something Andrew had never seen her do before. Her therapist had warned him that she may start doing things for emotional regulation that she had long grown out of. He wanted to take her back from Neil and leave, keep her safe from the grief, but he couldn’t. She was just as comforted by Neil holding her here as she would be by Andrew holding her at home. 

“Let’s find a place to sit,” Neil said, turning to Andrew as piano music started playing. 

Andrew nodded, leading him to the spot in the back Dan had reserved for Claire. Instead of leaving the other spot she had reserved open, Dan smiled at them and sat in it, completing the front row. 

Claire listened when the pastor spoke of heaven and meeting again one day, Andrew hoped it brought her some kind of comfort. When Marie’s friends started giving their speeches Claire started to cry. Andrew carefully took her from Neil and carried her out into the hallway, where he rocked her until she settled down and popped her thumb into her mouth. 

Andrew tried to soothe her by talking about grief and sharing his feelings with her. He had no idea how much it helped until she started crying again, and he figured he was just making it worse. She slid her free hand into his sleeve, trying to get to his scars, so he unbuttoned it and shoved it up high enough for her to run her hand over it. Funerals were longer than Andrew remembered, not that he had been too many. It was nearly an hour before Neil came out and collected them. 

They bypassed the room the service had been in, going down the hall and entering a catering room. Dan had told him about this part yesterday, but they hadn’t been allowed in because they were cleaning. The room was packed to the brim, there was a door leading from the service room straight into the dining room so Andrew hadn’t seen them make the move. He walked over to one of the serving tables and people parted for him, all eyeing Claire like she was a porcelain doll. Claire picked out cakes and berries, avoiding the real food. Despite the hour, and lunch quickly approaching, Andrew let her get away with it. 

Once they had a plate full of food Neil led Andrew over to the table where Dan and her husband were sitting with some friends. 

“Hey Clairy Berry,” Matt said with a giant smile. “How’s it going?”

Claire picked up her plate, nearly tipping everything onto the ground. “Cake.”

“Oh yeah? I have some too.” Matt picked up his plate and showed her, letting her steal a bite when she shoved her fork into it. 

A lot of Marie’s friends came over and said hello to Claire as she ate her cake. Sometimes she would say hello, others she would wave and go back to her task. Neil talked to most of them for a moment before sending them on their way. Andrew knew Marie had been living at a shelter when he first met her, he hadn’t realized it was Josten’s. Neil knew all her friends from before she left her husband because he helped her get settled just as much as Andrew had, and he knew her friends from after because he had helped her make them. 

Dan ran the home, giving Neil the chance to run his daycare, so Andrew had assumed he wasn’t very involved in it. He was very wrong about that. 

People were still eating and talking when Andrew decided it was time to leave. Claire needed real food and a nap, and he needed a break from waiting for her to break down. Neil hugged Claire goodbye and made sure she knew he would see her on Monday.

At home Claire was her normal peppy self, bossing Andrew around and making sure he made her mac and cheese exactly according to the box, which he always did. She ran around in her rainbow tutu, clutching her crocodile. Andrew let her get away with taking him to the table because she claimed he was her friend, not a toy. Toys weren’t allowed at the table, but friends were. 

After lunch Andrew put Claire down for a nap, rocking her in the rocking chair until she fell asleep and then transferring her to the bed. He needed to get some work done, instead he opted to lay on the floor next to her bed and take a nap too. 


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as they got settled into a solid routine something had to come and throw it off. After a couple of weeks, they found a good routine that worked for them. It had Andrew dropping Claire off at Neil’s, working from 9 am to 2 pm in the office, and then picking Claire up from Neil and hanging out with her for the rest of the night, finally finishing up his work after she went to bed. She slept from 8 pm to 8 am consistently now, rarely waking up in the middle of the night. While she needed a solid twelve hours of sleep every night to keep her growing body healthy, Andrew could do with seven or so. He worked from the time she went to bed until midnight usually, which more than made up for him leaving work three hours early every day. 

There were some hiccups with having to take phone calls during playtime, but Claire was fine with it. She followed Andrew up to his room and sat on his lap while he talked on the phone and did whatever he needed to on the computer. Andrew got her a little keyboard and mouse so she could type away at her ‘work’ until he was done with the call. Claire even kept her play phone on his desk, allowing her to take her own calls at the same time. She liked to tell Andrew he was talking too loudly and interrupting her. It was too cute for Andrew to correct her. 

The major life interruption came when Claire got sick. Andrew picked her up from Neil to find her with a slight cough and complaining of a sore throat. Neil said it started after lunch and that she’d napped for longer than normal, but she was still energetic and had no problem playing with the other children. Not unusual for a child, but when her fever spiked past 100F later that night, he freaked out.

Claire went to bed with no problem, falling asleep quickly. Andrew went to his room to get some work done, only to hear tiny footsteps on the stairs a few minutes later. He turned to see Claire standing in his doorway, holding her stuffed crocodile and rubbing her eyes. Andrew held his hand out to her, and she toddled over, half asleep. As soon as he touched her hand, he could feel the heat radiating off of her, but when he checked, the thermometer said she was only at 100.6 degrees. It was a fever, but not a high one. She fell asleep on his lap quickly, as Andrew took the opportunity to call Neil.

“Hello?” Neil asked, voice sounding worried. Andrew had never called him after hours before. 

“Claire has a fever,” Andrew said quickly.

“Oh, okay.” Neil sounded more relaxed suddenly, putting Andrew even more on edge. “You know the rules, she can’t come back here until it’s been gone for an entire 24 hours.”

Andrew shifted Claire on his lap. “Neil. She has a fever.”

“I heard you the first time.” Andrew huffed in annoyance at Neil for not understanding. “Oh, are you scared? How high is it?”

“I’m not scared,” Andrew snapped, causing Claire to stir. He patted her back and bounced his leg slightly. “It’s 100.6. I’m not scared.”

“Is it not going down with medicine?” Neil asked. 

Andrew ground his teeth together. “I haven’t given her anything yet, she wasn’t this hot when I put her to bed. What should I do?”

“Hmm, okay, what do you have?”

Andrew carefully got up and laid Claire down in his bed, watching for a moment to make sure she was still asleep before he left the room. He took the stairs two at a time as he went down one floor to the kid’s bathroom. 

“I have children’s ibuprofen and Tylenol.” Andrew picked up both bottles, noting the expiration date on one, then checking the other. “Shit, they’re both expired.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Neil had his scared kid voice going, speaking more soothingly than he needed to. “She barely has a fever. Dress her in something cool and make sure she drinks enough fluids.”

“She’s asleep,” Andrew said as he climbed the stairs back to his room.

“Then let her sleep.”

Andrew switched the phone from one ear to the other as he walked back up the stairs. Neil huffed as the silence drew on.

“It’s just a cold, it’s October, it’s going around. She will be fine, let her sleep.” Neil laughed at himself for a second, causing Andrew to send him a glare he couldn’t see over the phone. “I know you’re a new dad and this is scary, but I promise she’s okay. I’ll text you the warning signs for needing to go to the doctor.”

Claire was still asleep, looking entirely too peaceful as Andrew sat down next to her and said his goodbyes to Neil. All he could do was watch her and wait to see what happened, it wasn’t like he could go out and buy medicine while she slept. Logically he knew Neil was right, there was no reason to worry about such a low fever, but it had gone up quickly and might go up again. He grabbed the thermometer from the bedside table and checked her again, only to get the same result. 

The phone dinged, letting him know he had a new text. Neil’s explanation was thorough, and Claire was far from needing to go to the doctor, yet. Focusing on the yet was a terrible idea, but Andrew did it anyway. As he watched Claire sleep in her warm pajamas, he wondered if he could change her without waking her, Neil did say to put her in cool clothes. 

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Andrew looked from Claire to his bedroom door a few times, deciding she could be left alone for a few minutes. When he opened the front door, he found Neil standing on his step, holding a grocery bag full of supplies. Andrew stared at him in shock, blinking slowly.

“I figured you could use some help,” Neil said as he elbowed his way into the house. “You sounded out of your element on the phone.”

Andrew led him up the stairs, through the next two floors, and up to his bedroom. Claire slept in the middle of his bed in her fox onesie, undisturbed by all the movement. Neil sat on the other side of the bed, next to the empty nightstand, and opened the bag, taking out a forehead thermometer. He checked her temperature, frowning at whatever he saw, Andrew shifted from side to side as he waited for Neil’s assessment. Slowly, Neil opened the bag and put the contents on Andrew’s bedside table. Gatorade, Vicks Vaporub, children’s ibuprofen, cough drops, sore throat spray, and some organic fruit snacks.

“Hydration and a few things to make her feel a little better. I’m sure you know how Vicks, cough drops, and throat spray work.” Neil arranged them all on the nightstand and explained how and when to give her any ibuprofen. 

The label had the same information, but Andrew appreciated that Neil took the time to walk him through it, anyway. They sat in silence for a few moments, both watching Claire sleep. Eventually, Neil stood up.

“Alright,” he said as he stretched out. “I’ll see you two in a few days. Let me know if you need any more supplies.”

“You’re leaving?” Andrew asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care what the answer was. 

“You don’t really need me to watch her sleep, do you?”

Andrew scoffed. “No.”

Neil tilted his head to the side and examined Andrew. “You can do this, it’s just a cold. It’s going around right now.”

“I’ve never taken care of someone like this before,” Andrew admitted. “I know how to give her medicine and feed her, but I don't know how to care for her.”

“Yes, you do.” Neil sat on the edge of the bed and looked over at Claire as she slept. “You’ve been caring for her for a month. Helping her through every nightmare and tantrum, and making her feel safe. That’s all she needs right now. Someone to lay with her and make her feel safe.”

Neil stayed just long enough to see Andrew give her the first dose of medicine, then he went on his way. The house felt less secure without him in it. 

With Neil gone, Andrew was left alone in silence with his thoughts. It was late enough that calling his brother wasn’t really an option, but he pulled out his phone and did it anyway. Aaron was a pediatrician a few towns over, working in a small office. He woke up early, so Andrew never called him after 9 pm, not that they had a good enough relationship that they talked regularly. There was a reason Andrew had called Neil before reaching out to his brother.

“Hello?” Aaron said on the third ring. “What’s wrong?”

“I have a three-year-old with a fever,” Andrew said, getting straight to the point. 

The phone shuffled around as Aaron went into doctor mode. “Symptoms?”

Andrew went through it all with him, from picking her up from daycare to having her asleep in his bed, having taken medicine. Aaron assured him she was fine for now, reiterating the same signs Neil had for when to take her into the doctor. When Andrew asked about changing her clothes Aaron said to let her sleep for now, sleep was the most important thing for fighting it off. 

“You’re fostering again?” Aaron asked when he had finished his doctor speech. 

“Yes.” Andrew debated telling him more for a moment. That wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the whole truth.

Aaron hummed into the phone. 

Andrew took a deep breath and dived into the conversation. “Her name is Claire, I’m going to adopt her.”

“I didn’t know you were looking at adoption,” Aaron said, sounding slightly hurt. 

“I wasn’t,” Andrew admitted. “She fell into my lap and I couldn’t let her go. I wasn’t planning on telling you until I was sure I could keep her.”

Aaron sighed. “Oh, Andrew. You don’t know yet?”

“I don’t know yet.” It was harder to admit that than he had thought it would be. He thought about it a lot and had talked about it with his caseworker and lawyer, but telling his brother was something else. 

He looked down at Claire, sleeping in the middle of his bed, and tried not to think about how much it would hurt to lose her. 

“Who’s her doctor?” Aaron asked, sidestepping the emotional side, and focusing on what he could do to help.

They talked for half an hour, discussing her routine, diet, and anything else Aaron thought was important to help her grow up healthy and happy. It was all things Andrew had already covered with her caseworker, pediatrician, and Neil. Covering it with Aaron was different somehow. Aaron was family, Claire’s uncle, if he got to adopt her. Discussing it all with him was different because Aaron was on his team, everyone else was there for Claire, while Aaron was there for him. 

Andrew laid down, deciding to forgo his work for the night, and snuggled up with Claire. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his chest without waking up. For the first time, they both slept through the night together.


	7. Chapter 7

They woke up tangled together. Claire had a hand shoved inside the sleeve of Andrew’s t-shirt, as she laid diagonally across his chest. Andrew was flat on his back, with his arms thrown above his head in a way that made his shoulders ache every time he moved. They were both soaked in sweat. 

Andrew reached to the side and grabbed the forehead thermometer, sweeping it across Claire’s head until it glowed green and showed him the results. She was fever free, for now. She sat up, pulling her hand out of his shirt and wedging her elbow in his chest, then coughed directly in his face. Andrew closed his eyes and bit his cheek, half annoyed and half elated. Claire looked significantly better than she had the night before, and the fever had broken, those were things to celebrate, even as she put her germs right where he wanted them least. He wrapped his arms around her, feeling the burn from sleeping in a terrible position, and sat up. 

Claire smiled at him, resting her head on his chest, tucking it under his chin. When he didn’t start rubbing her back quickly enough, Claire grabbed his hand and placed it where she wanted it, moving it up and down for a moment to make sure he got the point. Andrew took the hint and started gently soothing her. She liked to wake up slowly, sitting on him for at least twenty minutes before she was ready to start the day. Andrew would have preferred to get her out of her clothes covered in fever sweat, but he needed to wait until she was ready for that. 

After giving her a quick bath, Andrew hopped in the shower while she sat outside the bathroom door and played with her crocodile. She always begged to sit in the bathroom when he needed to shower while she was awake, but he never let her. Instead, she sat outside for a few minutes quietly, and then banged on the door and yelled at him when her patience ran out. She didn’t last long, giving Andrew only two minutes to shower, but he made due. 

He opened the door as soon as he had his shorts on, met with wet hazel eyes staring up at him. Andrew knelt down and wrapped Claire in a hug. Once she settled he carried her downstairs and handed her a banana to eat while he made her a smoothie. She sat on the counter and watched while he cut up the fresh fruit, demanding to put it in the blender herself. While it was blending Andrew picked her up and swayed back and forth, dancing to the even beat it made. 

There was a note on the fridge that hadn’t been there the night before. In scratchy handwriting he saw: I told you you could do it. 

Neil was always full of surprises. 

“Nails?” Claire asked while they were eating.

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “What about nails?”

“You paint my nails,” Claire said, holding up her hand and showing him her bare nails. 

“I don’t think we have any nail polish.” Andrew went through an inventory of the house in his mind, coming up blank. 

“Uh-huh, we do.” Claire stood up and grabbed his hand, guiding him through the house and up the stairs. 

She went to the third floor, bypassing her bedroom and going to the door they never used. Andrew hadn’t been in the older kid’s bedroom in months, not since before his last placement came. He only went in there to clean and tidy it up when he knew he was getting a new placement. The nursery was a room he had to spend time in when he had little kids, but the older kids deserve as much privacy as he could give them. Claire had only gone in there once for a game of hide-and-seek, leaving the door open and hiding so poorly that Andrew found her without having to enter the room. 

Claire went to the nightstand and opened the drawer, pulling out one bottle of bright pink nail polish. 

“See,” she said, waving it in the air.

“You’re not supposed to come in here,” Andrew said. “This is the room for guests.”

“We don’t have guests.” Claire walked over and handed him the bottle, holding out her hand for him to see.

“We might have guests one day, and I would like to keep this room clean for them.” Andrew took her hand and guided her out so he could close the door. “Alright, let’s go paint your nails.”

They went down to the coffee table, covering it in old newspaper to keep it safe. Claire's little hands took up almost no room when she set them down for Andrew to paint. Her nails were so small putting any pressure on the brush made it fan out, covering the entire nail and most of her fingertip. They didn’t have any base coat or top coat to make it last, and there was a good chance it would be gone by the end of the day. Claire watched closely, resting her head on her arm as close as Andrew would let her. He didn’t want her to breathe in any fumes.

“My turn,” Claire said, holding out her hand.

“Your turn to what?” Andrew asked. 

Claire waved her hand in the air, then grabbed the brush out of his hand. She pushed his hand flat on the table, smearing pink nail polish down the entire side of it. He froze when he realized what she was planning, sighing deeply when the brush hit his thumbnail. Hopefully, he was right about it not lasting through the end of the day, walking into work with pink nails would be a nightmare. 

Focusing intently, Claire leaned in, painting one nail at a time and covering his fingers in the process. It took her significantly longer to do his hands than it had taken him to do hers. Her eyebrows came together, forming a little v. Andrew knew it was because she was getting frustrated that her hands weren’t doing what she wanted them to, but it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. When she was done she sat back, looking his hands over and smiling. 

“Perfect,” she said, patting his arm. “Much better.”

“Do you like painting nails?” Andrew asked, it wasn’t something he would have thought to do with such a young child. 

“Yeah.” Claire looked up at him with wet eyes. “Mommy always does it.”

“Oh, baby.” Andrew pulled her into his lap. One hand rubbing her back while the other stroked her hair. “I’ve got you. I know you are sad. When you're sad that mommy died, we can remember her by painting our nails. Happy memories.” 

“Happy,” Claire echoed. She looked at her nails, then Andrew’s. “Happy nails.”

“Happy nails.”

They colored while their nails dried, both working on the same page at once. Andrew followed Claire’s directions, coloring whatever part she told him to in whatever color she wanted. They sat at the kitchen table until lunchtime, moving from coloring to puzzles, and then back to coloring. After lunch, Andrew laid Claire down for a nap and headed up to his room to get some work done. 

He sat on the phone with his partner, going over their cases until he had a video chat with a client. While he was on the phone, he could research at the same time, but once the video started he had to focus on them. It was a simple divorce case, both sides agreeing it was time to end the marriage peacefully. So far it was the calmest divorce Andrew had ever worked. 

There was still a lot to be done when it came to dividing assets and settling on a custody agreement. The children were old enough to choose what they wanted and one was blaming mom while the other blamed dad, so they wanted to live in different houses, the parents however were unwilling to accommodate that. It was the first time Andrew had heard of parents parting amicably, only to be screwed over by angry teenagers.

Claire opened his door, peeking inside the room while he was listening to the mother attempt to make sense of her teen’s logic. 

“One moment,” Andrew said as he turned toward his door, watching Claire try to look past him toward the screen. “Good morning, do you want to come sit with me?”

Claire nodded, standing on her tippy toes and then jumping to get a view. 

Andrew held out a hand to her. “Come say hello.”

“No, thank you,” Claire said quietly. 

She walked over and climbed on his lap facing him, resting her head on his chest.

Andrew turned back to the screen. “I apologize for the interruption. We were discussing varying opinions on custody?” 

“Umm, yes we were.” 

They jumped right back into the discussion, continuing as that usually would and ignoring the fact that Andrew now had a child on his lap. One that he was sure had fallen asleep.

Andrew was thankful his client was willing to play along and let it slide. However, he was not lucky for long. At the end of the meeting, his client asked who she was.

“My daughter,” Andrew answered, automatically choosing the easiest explanation regardless of the fact that it wasn't exactly true. “She’s home sick today.”

“Oh poor baby, I remember how scary that is when they’re little.”

It took a few tries, but Andrew managed to wrap up the call a few minutes later. He didn’t want to listen to parents of teenagers reminisce about their babies, even if he was being paid hundreds of dollars an hour. Typing with Caire on his lap was difficult, yet he made no effort to move her. She slept on him almost as much as she slept in her own bed. Some people said he was spoiling her, but he disagreed. He was doing what he thought was best for her to feel safe and secure in his home. 


	8. Chapter 8

Halloween rolled around faster than Andrew expected it to. One second it was 80 degrees outside, the next every store he went in had a ghost hanging in the doorway. Andrew had never celebrated a holiday with one of the kids in his care, they rarely lasted long enough for him to even get them a suitcase and a backpack. He had a good idea of what to do with older kids, take them trick-or-treating and let them stay up late watching age-appropriate spooky movies, but he was lost on what to do with a three-year-old. 

Neil was having a party the day before for all of his kids, and their parents if they wanted to come. Andrew amazed himself by wanting to go, at no point in his life had a Halloween party with toddlers ever sounded appealing, yet here he was. He didn’t have a costume or any idea what an adult was supposed to wear to a children’s Halloween party, so he did what he always did when he needed help with child-related things. He called Neil. 

“Hello.” Neil’s voice sounded before the second ring even came through the line. “Everything all right?”

Andrew sighed. “Yes, everything is fine. Quit assuming.”

“Need me to make another midnight house call?” Neil laughed when Andrew groaned into the receiver. 

“Yes, yes, you’re our knight in shining armor, I get it.” Andrew leaned back in his chair. “I need costume ideas, what are we supposed to wear to your little toddler Halloween?”

“Andrew, that’s in two days.” Neil sounded shocked that Andrew would wait so long. Two days was more than enough time to find something as far as Andrew was concerned. “You’ll never find anything you like. Okay, we can go to the mall tomorrow night and look. I might have something Claire can use if she likes it, but you will definitely need something new.”

“What’s the point of buying something? She’ll be in bed by 7:30 anyway.”

Neil groaned and turned on his babysitter voice. “It’s not about the costume, Andrew. It’s about the experience for both of you.”

“She’s not my kid, and she won’t even remember this when she grows up.” Andrew knew losing Claire would kill him, but he could still do things to make it easier, like not make a big deal out of every little thing she did. 

He would already remember everything about her time with him, no need to add to the pain by making it even more special. There was almost no chance she’d get placed with a family member now, but that didn’t mean he’d get to keep her. She might be moved to another foster home, or get adopted to a loving family with a mom and a dad and a dog. Andrew couldn’t be all of that for her, no matter how hard he tried. 

“She might not remember the night or any of the days with you, but she will remember the man who took care of her when she needed it the most. She’ll remember how you made her feel and the love you shared with her.” Neil’s voice got softer toward the end. “Andrew, Marie chose you to care for her daughter, that’s not something anyone takes lightly. There is no reason for her to be taken away from you. It might take a while, but she’s with you for good.”

That wasn’t the complete truth, but Andrew appreciated that Neil was trying to console him. 

“Whatever. Pick you up tomorrow at 5:30?”

“Sounds good to me.”

He hung up the phone before Neil could spew more nonsense in lieu of a goodbye. 

The mall was not a pleasant place to be a few days before Halloween. Kids ran around, hyped up on sugar, and screaming like banshees. Mom’s chased after them, sometimes screaming even louder. Teens loitered, as teens do, mostly not bothering anyone. And lastly, middle-aged men and women complained that the very specific costume they just need to have today is either sold out or out of their budget. 

Claire asked to be picked up before they even got inside, and Andrew could not blame her. He tried not to carry her everywhere, and normally she didn’t want him too, but they both made exceptions for this situation. Neil walked beside them through the mall, weaving in and out of the crowd, quickly taking them to their destination. Claire’s rainbow tutu got compliments from women and children as they walked, and Claire responded by hiding her face in Andrew’s neck. 

“Hey Clary-sage,” Andrew said softly, “do you want to go?”

Claire shook her head. “Costume.”

“Okay, we will be as quick as a snail.”

“No.” Claire laughed and looked up at him. “Snails are slow.”

“Oh,” Andrew said, pretending she told him something amazing. 

“A turtle then?” Neil asked. 

“No, no, no. Turtles are slow, slow, slow. Turtles are slow. A cheetah is fast.” Claire waves her hand in front of Andrew’s face. “Zoom. Fast.”

“Okay then, we will be as fast as cheetahs.” 

Claire nodded, clapping her hands together. “Rawr.”

Neil started walking again, turning into a small store selling supplies for school teachers.

“This is where I get most of my stuff for the playroom,” Neil said as he looked over a little cash register that had math games. “They have costumes year-round for imaginative play, no one thinks to look at The Learning Emporium for Halloween costumes.”

“Wings.” Claire wiggled in Andrew’s arms, pointing to the back of the store. “Look, Andrew, look. Fairy wings.”

“I see that.” Andrew went over and looked at the display, setting Claire down to look for herself. “Do you want to be a fairy?”

“Yeah, and you can paint my face!”

“Ummm,” Andrew froze. “I’m not exactly an artist, baby.”

Claire blinked up at him, patting his hand. “You can do it, I believe in you.”

Andrew sighed, knowing he was going to have to paint her face regardless of his apprehension. “Thank you.”

They grabbed the fairy winged and went to pay, finding Neil deep in a discussion about the value of some game in teaching social skills. Claire waited patiently, nodding along to the conversation like she was part of it. Andrew watched her more than he listened, examining how her little personality came out in the weirdest ways. She was a people person and she was good at knowing when she could join, and when she couldn’t. It was a skill most kids learned when they were a lot older than 3. 

Neil bought the game, and the cash register, as well as a handful of other things, and they headed to find a costume for Andrew. That task was significantly more difficult than finding Claire’s had been. They went to three stores before Claire got too overwhelmed to continue. 

Andrew sat down with her in the elevator waiting area in Macy’s. There was a soft couch where they could sit on without being bothered. He sighed, holding Claire in his lap as she yawned and whined. The car was half the mall away, and he didn’t want to risk her having a tantrum, so he waited for her to fall asleep. It was too early for her to go to bed, but the overstimulation of the mall seemed to have tired her out. 

While Andrew sat with her, rocking from side to side, Neil went out shopping to find him a suitable costume. Just when Andrew was pulling his phone out to text Neil she was asleep, he got the text saying Neil was done. The walk to the car was easy, the crowd parted when they saw him walking quickly with a sleeping child. 

After dropping Neil off at home, Andrew drove around for a little while, letting Claire rest. Getting her out of the car had a fifty-fifty chance of waking her up. Either she was down for the night, or her body would see this as a brief nap and she’d be awake for hours as soon as they got home. 

It ended up being the latter, much to Andrew’s displeasure. There was nothing like a three-year-old jumping on the bed at 11 pm when he wanted to sleep to ruin his evening. She finally passed out at midnight, and then Andrew had to stay up until nearly 3 am getting work done so he could go to her party. 

The morning came too soon and Andrew shoved himself into a cowboy costume, running on three hours of sleep. In her excitement, Claire forgot all about the face paint, and Andrew was saved. She ran around the house, lapping Andrew as he drank his coffee. Andrew was looking forward to leaving the party at noon and taking a long nap with Claire when they got home, it was the only bright spot in his day.

At Neil's, Claire knocked on the door, tiny hand making almost no sound, then demanded Andrew pick her up so she could ring the doorbell. She wiggled in excitement as they waited for the door to open. As soon as she saw Neil in his wizard costume, she screamed in delight. 

The morning dragged on for Andrew. In a house with a plethora of children, all of whom were hyped up on sugar, he had nowhere to hide. The adults weren’t any better, they all wanted to know where he worked and how he liked his job. The stupid small talk he liked to avoid as much as possible. He knew a few of the faces from seeing them so often in the morning after dropping Claire off, but he had never really talked to any of them, and he didn’t want to.

Neil was right though, it was a good experience. Andrew got to see Claire interact with her friends in a way he never had before. He noticed she was weary of adults she didn’t know, but would willingly talk to the ones she knew were her mom’s friends. 

“Andrew,” Claire said as she grabbed his hand. “Come play with me.”

One of the moms tried to tell her the adults were talking, but she shut up when Andrew sent her a glare. Playing with Claire was more important than explaining what a Roth IRA was, Andrew made a mental note to send some information to Neil so he could pass it along to that mother. He knew if her kids were at Neil’s she had a rough go of life, he just didn’t have the energy to explain it to her right then. 

He sat down on the floor in the playroom, surrounded by orange and purple balloons the kids had drawn faces on in sharpie, and played Uno with a bunch of toddlers who had no idea what Uno was. Claire loved the colors and traded her cards with the kid next to her so she could get yellow after she played her yellow card. Another kid put his entire hand on the ground and kept drawing from the deck, trying to get all the numbers and organize them. All three kids kept handing Andrew cards when he was low, to make sure he didn’t run out. He explained that running out was the goal, but they said it wasn’t fair if they all had cards and he didn’t.

Playing card games had never been high on Andrew’s list of activities, but he loved playing Uno with Claire and her friends. They were all so kind and caring, making sure they shared with each other and noting when one of them was disappointed by a card they drew. 

“Blue,” Claire said, handing Andrew a yellow card. “I need blue, please.”

Andrew nodded, pulling out his only blue card and handing it over to her, there was no point in making her play by his rules, especially when hers were better. 

The party wound down as Neil brought out lunch for everyone: spooky grilled cheese sandwiches. Neil had used a large cookie cutter to make the bread into ghost shapes, an impressive trick Andrew was going to steal. Claire happily ate her lunch with her friends, then found Andrew, curling up on his lap and yawning.

“Alright Clary-Sage, nap time?” Andrew brushed her hair from her face as she blinked up at him.

“What’s that?”

“Clary-Sage is a plant.”

Claire nodded. “Leaf.”

“Yeah, leaves are a part of plants.”

“No.” Claire glared at him. “You are Leaf.”

When Andrew didn’t get what she was saying she huffed and pointed at herself.

“Clary-Sage.” Then she pointed at Andrew, poking his nose. “Leaf.”

“Oh, I’m Leaf?” Andrew chuckled to himself as Claire smiled and nodded to him.

“Alright, you’re obviously exhausted if you think my name is Leaf. Let’s go take a nap.”

On the way out, Andrew caught Neil’s eye and waved goodbye. He would have liked to hang out, but Neil was still on duty caring for the children whose parents were at work. Besides, his need for a nice nap overruled his friendship with Neil.


	9. Chapter 9

After Halloween came Andrew’s birthday, on November 4th. He didn’t tell Claire or Neil it was happening, and no one at his work mentioned it, but he did sit down and Skype with his brother after Claire went to bed. His cousin had called earlier for a quick happy birthday chat. On-screen Aaron was mirroring Andrew, wearing the pajamas Nicky had gotten them for Christmas and holding a glass of whiskey. 

“How’s Claire?” Aaron asked in greeting, not mentioning the date at all. 

“She’s sleeping in her own bed tonight. Bets on if she wakes up at 3 am again?”

Aaron tilted his head, thinking about it. “I’ll put 25 on her waking up between 2:50 and 3:30.”

“I’ll put 25 on her waking up between 3:30 and 4.” He shouldn’t have let Aaron go first, if she woke up it was usually around 3 exactly.

“What happens if she sleeps through the night?” Aaron took a sip of his whiskey and raised an eyebrow.

“We both send Nicky 25 and watch him stress about why?” Andrew suggested.

Aaron laughed. “Works for me.” 

They chatted about nothing for a few minutes. Small talk about work and things, checking to make sure the other had their life in order. Andrew waited until the call was winding down to bring up their winter get together plans. They didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, Aaron usually had to be on call just in case there was a major injury-usually involving someone trying to fry a turkey-and Nicky, who lived in Germany, could only come for one winter Holliday. 

“Christmas is at my house this year,” Andrew said, like changing the plan was no big deal. They still had a little over a month and a half to sort it all out.

“Yeah.” Aaron nodded, then froze. “No, it’s supposed to be at mine.”

“Claire.” 

“Of course.”

He didn’t need to say anything else for Aaron to understand, explaining it to Nicky would be harder.

They said goodnight and ended the call shortly after. There were some logistical things to work out, like where everyone would stay and putting Nicky in a hotel, but they had a few weeks to work it all out.

The next night Andrew called Nicky and informed him Christmas would be at his house because he may have a foster placement over the holiday. He didn’t tell Nicky she had already been with him for months, or that he was looking at adopting her. Even thinking of that possibility felt like he would jinx it. Nicky was excited, he begged and begged to get her a Christmas present until Andrew finally gave in and told him to buy a 3T tutu. 

Andrew had heard parents use the phrase ‘the days are long, but the years are short’ before and never understood it. After a few months with Claire, he finally got it. Some days he was woken up by a tiny hand on his face at 6 am after staying up until 2 am; others he was exhausted after work and could barely make dinner and put her to bed without falling asleep on the bathroom floor. 

They found themselves home alone for a long weekend over Thanksgiving. Andrew had the entire week off and he kept Claire home with him; thanks to his normal weekends that meant they had nine days to hang out. One or two, even four or five, were fine, but a full nine exhausted him. He had no idea how Neil survived all day every day with so many toddlers. Claire somehow had five times more energy than he did, and Andrew found himself napping when she did almost every day. 

They went to the park every afternoon after their nap. After a failed trip to the mall— which was overly crowded thanks to upcoming Black Friday sales—they took to hiking around local trails. Andrew got a jogging stroller that could handle the trails, and they went off in search of fairies. They both enjoyed the quiet time away from people, and Claire loved collecting rocks and sticks to take home and put in her little things bucket. Which was a bucket she filled with all the little things she found in her day. 

Claire got Andrew to try things he never would have before. He knew that was true because his cousin’s husband had tried to get him to go hiking many times over the years and Andrew had never given in. After Thanksgiving break, Andrew and Claire continued to head out to the forest every weekend to have some fun.

Andrew found himself agreeing the years are short when he realized Christmas was just a week away. The gift shopping was done, thankfully he always did his Christmas shopping during the spring and summer sales where everything was 70% off, but he still needed to deep clean his house and prepare it for the holiday. Somehow that meant standing in a Christmas tree lot a week before Christmas manhandling trees as he looked for the perfect one with Neil and Claire in tow.

Claire cuddled closer to Neil, wrapped in a warm fleece blanket. Neil was only there because Andrew didn’t have very many friends who were willing to drag a Christmas tree up a flight of stairs a week before a major holiday, but Andrew couldn’t blame them, there was no one he’d be willing to do that for. Well, maybe Neil if he asked, but that was only because Neil gave so much of himself to others and asked for nothing in return. It was annoying and endearing, but mostly annoying. The man didn’t have a proper sense of boundaries. 

“Hmm?” Neil said as Andrew poked at his tenth tree of the night. “Claire says if you don’t hurry up she's going to bite you.”

Andrew turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Did you really say that, Sagey?”

Claire sent him a tense glare, looking away with an eye roll, and then ignored him.

“Well, I guess this one will have to do then, won’t it?” 

Andrew made Neil stand next to the tree while he got the attendant to cut it and wrap it for them. When he came back Claire had her head rested on Neil’s shoulder and a hand in his hair. The sight made Andrew’s heart yearn for a partner in a way it never had before. He was more than fine being alone; he preferred it that way, Claire was more than enough family for him. But the idea of waking up to the love of his life on Christmas day way too early, being dragged down the stairs by an excited little girl, watching her open presents with a warm cup of coffee before the sun was even hinting at coming over the horizon. The picturesque moment full of laughter and tired smiles.

That idea.

That idea, that he had hated for so long, suddenly seemed like the perfect way to spend Christmas morning. 

He didn’t know if it was the lights sparkling against Neil’s hair or the way he was holding Claire close and whispering to her, but in his daydream, Neil was there too. 

Andrew shook his head, clearing the image from his mind. Once it was gone he helped the man strap the Christmas tree on top of Neil’s minivan as the other two watched from a safe distance. Hoisting it up above his head was harder than he expected, causing him to curse his tiny stature as the attendant did most of the work himself. Once it was safe and secure, Andrew took Claire from Neil and hugged her close, soaking up her warmth. He handed her the money and asked her to pay the attendant. She bounced up and down in his arms, thrusting the money at the man and laughing the entire time. Something as simple as paying for a good was new and exciting in her eyes. Andrew strapped Claire into her car seat as she babbled about how she got to buy the Christmas tree. They stopped for food on the way home, quickly picking up a to-go order from a local barbecue restaurant. 

Claire happily ate her fries, sitting on the counter and watching as Andrew and Neil dragged the tree up the stairs and through the living room, setting it down right in front of the big window. 

“That way Andrew,” Claire said, waving her hand to the left. “That way.”

Andrew looked between Claire and where she was pointing. “Clairy, if I move it that way it won't be in front of the window anymore.”

“No window, Andrew. Corner.”

“The tree needs to go in the corner?” Andrew asked. 

Claire nodded, biting a fry as she did so. Neil shrugged when Andrew sent him a raised eyebrow, so they moved the tree where she wanted it. Andrew liked to pretend that a three-year-old didn’t control his life, but anyone who knew them knew that she definitely did. 

With the tree in place, Andrew and Neil finally got to sit down and eat their dinner. Andrew lifted Claire off the counter and sat her down in a chair at the table, ignoring her protests. 

As they ate Neil looked around the room with a weird look on his face. “Where are all the decorations?”

“We’ll buy some tomorrow.” Andrew shrugged, shoving a cold, soggy fry in his mouth. 

“I want a fox and a bunny and an elephant and a cat.” Claire giggled, smiling brightly at Andrew and knowing he would hunt them all down for her. 

“See, we already have a list going.”

“Last minute Halloween costumes, last-minute Christmas decorations. What is wrong with you?” Neil asked, not waiting for a reply. “I’m going to force you to go shopping for our Valentine's day party in January.”

Andrew groaned and got up, he forced his steps to stay even as he walked upstairs to dig the small box of Christmas ornaments his family had given him out of his closet. Neil didn’t need to get satisfaction out of hearing Andrew stomp up the stairs.

“Here,” Andrew said, thrusting the box into Neil’s hands.

“My fox,” Claire yelled as she climbed out of her chair and walked over to Neil’s. 

On the very top of the box was a dusty looking red fox ornament. Claire picked it up and held it up to her face, a slow smile taking it over. 

“I love her,” she announced proudly. 

“Go put it on the tree.” Andrew ushered her forward with a hand on her back, guiding her to the tree.

Once the first ornament was on the tree she jumped up and down with joy, running back and forth between the box and the tree until nothing was left in the box. Andrew really needed to go get more now. He decided not to do lights, because it was a fire hazard and he didn’t trust Claire to leave the tree alone when he asked, but he did agree to buy her as many ornaments as she liked.

“How does it look?” she asked Neil, waving her hands to show off all her work.

“That’s the coolest tree I’ve ever seen.”

Claire nodded her head. “It’ll be even better when it’s done!”

They spent a few minutes admiring the tree before heading upstairs. Andrew quickly put Claire to bed, it was a simple task since she was already half asleep, and came back down to hang out with Neil for a little while. They had fallen into an easy sort of friendship where they chatted about Claire and work and other little things that Andrew usually never cared to discuss with people. Small talk. Andrew hated small talk, but with Neil it seemed almost exciting. Discussing how excited Claire was when she got to decorate the tree was actually something he wanted to do. Oh, how a person could change in such a short amount of time.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” Neil asked. 

Andrew shrugged. “Kick out my family when they get to be too much. Bets on if they last longer than ten minutes?”

Neil rolled his eyes. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

They stared each other down until Andrew gave in. He knew Neil was just trying to help him out; it was just frustrating that he needed help in the first place. Together they came up with a game plan, Neil would come over when he needed help, and Andrew was allowed to take breaks away from his family at any point.

Nicky and Erik arrived a few days before Christmas, staying in a rented hotel room. Andrew couldn’t decide if he wanted them to meet Claire on Christmas day or before then, but the choice was made for him when Neil gave him a long speech about stress for both him and Claire and how important their first Christmas together would be. Andrew only agreed to let Nicky and Erik meet Claire on the 23rd, when Aaron and Katelyn came into town, if Neil would come too. Neil didn’t want to come, but he couldn’t say no once Andrew said it was for Claire. 

Neil arrived half an hour earlier than everyone else so he could help calm Andrew down. Claire. Claire was the one who needed to be settled, not Andrew, who was an adult and did not need a babysitter to help him. Neil was there for Claire and only Claire, not for Andrew. 

Or so Andrew told himself. 

He hated the idea that he may need Neil to help him introduce his family to his child. Foster child. She wasn’t his child yet, and might not ever be.

Claire was excited to meet her new family, bouncing around the house, running up and down the stairs with her new fox stuffed animal in one hand and her ‘cockidile’ in the other. A knock on the door startled Andrew as she ran past him for the hundredth time in half an hour. 

“They’re here,” Claire yelled, jumping up and clapping her hands. “They are here, Andrew. They’re here.”

Andrew nodded, walking over to the door and opening it. Nicky and Erik beamed at him, all bright smiles and Christmas cheer, while Aaron and Katelyn simply nodded at him. While Andrew didn’t really like Katelyn, he appreciated that she was sensible enough to have a normal fucking reaction to meeting a child, instead of screaming like Nicky did. He must have seen Claire behind Andrew because his scream caused dogs to bark all around the neighborhood and Claire to cry.

“Come here baby,” Neil said as Claire sobbed. “That was pretty scary.”

Once Andrew was sure that Neil had her, he turned to glare at Nicky. Andrew grabbed his shirtsleeve and walked past him out the door, pulling Nicky behind him.

“Outside,” Andrew ground out. 

They left the other’s in the doorway while they went to have a little talk. Andrew chided Nicky, using his new parenting lingo to make Nicky feel the guilt that came with ‘I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed’. They only went back inside when Nicky promised to be on his best behavior, and Andrew promised to kick him out if he wasn’t.

Back in the house, things had settled down. Katelyn and Aaron were sitting on the couch, listening to Claire talk about her fox and her crocodile while sitting on Neil’s lap.

Andrew walked over to her, kneeling in front of her and making a funny face. “All better? Did Neil take care of you?”

“Mhm,” Claire hummed. “Neil always, always takes care of me. No more yelling.”

Andrew nodded. “Yeah, no more yelling.”

“I can show you my tree now.” Claire slid off of Neil’s lap and walked over to the tree, grabbing Katelyn’s hand on the way. “This is my fox, my Leafy gave it to me.”

“Leafy?” Katelyn asked.

Claire pointed to Andrew for a moment, then turned back to the tree. “And Leafy gave me a bazillion balls to decorate the tree with. And look at my giraffe. Neil gave me my giraffe.”

Andrew walked into the kitchen, followed by Aaron who didn’t want to listen to the Christmas tree tale for some reason. 

“Leafy?” Aaron asked, judgment seeping into his voice. 

Andrew rolled his eyes. “She’s three.”

Aaron clearly expected more of an explanation, but Andrew didn’t offer any. He ignored his brother as he grabbed a cup of juice and walked back into the living room, handing it to Claire who was still talking about the tree. 

“Hey Neil,” Claire asked, stopping her tree talk mid-sentence. 

“Hey Claire,” Neil said with a smile. 

“I’m ready to go now.”

Andrew and Neil nodded at the same time. 

“Do you want to go play with Neil in your room?” Andrew asked. 

Claire nodded her head, and Neil stood up offering everyone a quick nice-to-meet-you as he took Claire’s hand and went upstairs.

They sat in silence for a moment, that kind that grew more and more uncomfortable as time dragged on.

“So who’s that?” Nicky started. 

“Claire’s babysitter, who I asked to come in case something like this happened.” Andrew glared at him. “Since I somehow knew you wouldn’t be able to make it ten minutes without scaring her. Wild how you didn’t even make it in the door. I expected way too much from you.”

“Hey now,” Erik said, holding up his hands between them. “I believe we have already settled this, yes?”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Andrew responded. 

His glare was less effective than he would have hoped as Claire ran up to him, shifting his gaze away from Nicky and onto her. 

“Hey Leaf. Leaf, look what Neil found for me.” Claire held up her blue whale pillow, which had been missing for a few days. “It was in the toy box.”

“Wow, Neil found Bluie for you? Did you say thank you?” 

“Mhm, and, and.” Claire jumped, holding out a small bracelet. “And he found this.”

“Neil found your bracelet and your pillow in less than one minute?” Andrew exaggerated his reaction for her, knowing she would love it. “Woah, he must be magic.”

“He’s a magic finder man. Neil is a magic finder, Neil is a magic finder.” Claire danced around the room, going between Neil standing in the doorway and Andrew sitting on the couch. “What else can Neil find, Leafy?”

“Maybe, if you ask super nicely, Neil can find you a cookie,” Andrew suggested. 

Claire wrinkled her nose in excitement, sending him a sly smile afterward. “I can have two cookies, right?”

“One.”

Claire leveled Andrew a copy of his signature glare. “Two.”

Andrew pretended to think about it. “How about none?”

“Actually,” Claire said sternly. “Two.”

Andrew sighed. “You have two choices, no cookie or one cookie, what would you like?”

“I want a cookie,” Claire demanded. 

“And you can have one, but only one.” Andrew reached out and patted her shoulder. “Dinner is going to be in a few minutes okay?”

“Ugh, fine.” 

Claire turned to Neil, grabbing his hand and dragging him into the kitchen to search for a cookie. 

Nicky laughed. “Wow, she really is your kid, huh? That glare. And the demanding presence. And like, no offense, but you’re both super bossy.”

“I’m not bossy,” Claire yelled from the kitchen.

Neil nodded. “That’s right, Claire Bear. You’re not bossy, you just know what you want.”

Claire sent Nicky a glare. “Yeah.”

Nicky laughed again, waving his hand between Andrew and Claire as if to say I-told-you-so. 

The night ended better than it started. Nicky calmed down once dinner started, gracing them with stories of his wonderful life with Erik, which Claire loved. She asked more questions than Andrew had expected her to, wanting to know everything about everything. After dinner she just wanted to sit on Andrew’s lap, leaving Neil to hang out with Andrew’s family like some sort of seventh wheel. It was nicer than Andrew had expected. Yes, they had a rough start, but the night ended well. 

The next day was more of a disaster. Claire knew they were coming back, but she thought Neil was too, which caused a big meltdown when only Andrew’s family came again. She waited at the top of the stairs for five minutes after they arrived before she went over to Andrew to ask when Neil would be there. 

Nothing like a screaming fit at 8am to wake everyone up. 

Andrew wasn’t expecting everything to go perfectly, but he also hadn’t expected Neil’s absence to cause such a problem. There was only so much hurt he was willing to cause Claire, so he called Neil to see what they could come up with. If Claire wanted him there, the least he could do was ask. He knew that giving in to her meltdown was the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do, but he also knew Christmas was a big event for her and she was too young to express what she was feeling. 

Neil didn’t hesitate, he was there within twenty minutes, bringing Claire a wrapped present and giving it to her straight away.

“How are you feeling now?” Andrew asked Claire as she snuggled up between him and Neil on the couch. 

Claire sniffled. “A little tiny bit better.”

“Only a little?” Andrew raised an eyebrow. “You look a hundred times happier now.”

“Maybe a lot a little better.” Claire patted Neil’s legs and smiled. “Just maybe, though.”

“Of course,” Andrew said with a nod. “Do you want to open some presents now? I think Nicky and Erik got you something.”

“Yeah.” Claire bounced up and down in her seat, letting a timid smile take over her face. 

“Presents?” Nicky asked. “I love presents so much. Did you get me anything?”

Claire looked to Andrew, when he nodded his head she turned back to Nicky and nodded at him as well. They let Aaron play Santa, passing out gifts to everyone from his spot on the floor. Andrew tried to make them go in a round, each opening one at a time, but it devolved into chaos before he even finished talking. Claire ripped open her first package, pulling out the tutu and screaming in glee. She tugged it over her head and shimmed it down until she was wearing it properly over her pajamas. 

“Look Leafy, I got a new tutu.”

“Woah,” Andrew gasped. “That is so pretty. What do you say?”

“Thank you, thank you.”

The rest of the day went better than the morning had, but Claire clung to either him or Neil at every moment. She couldn’t be more than an arms-length away from one of her safe people, which meant she didn’t do as much playing as they would have liked. Andrew let her nap on his chest while he listened to his family chat, catching up on Aaron and Katelyn’s degrees, as well as their plans for the future. It was all things they’d talked about over skype a million times, but hashing everything out in person was a necessary evil, it seemed.

Neil sat with him, listening to the chatter and offering input occasionally, more so than Andrew did. It was nice to have another person there he was comfortable with, and also rather odd. Realizing he was closer to Claire’s babysitter than he was to his own family should have been a scary thought, but it just seemed right. Neil had somehow become the person he called when he needed reassurance without Andrew even realizing it. 

“Hey Claire Bear,” Neil said, breaking Andrew out of his head. 

Claire hadn’t moved at all, but she must have opened her eyes. Andrew wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tighter. She responded by rubbing her cheek on his shoulder and sighing. If there was ever a silent way to tell him she loved him, it was that. It hit Andrew hard. 

Neil was her person, he had been for months, even that morning she was needing Neil more than she was him. But somewhere along the way Andrew had risen up through the ranks and joined him. Claire chose to sleep on Andrew, not on Neil, and she ran to Andrew when she needed something, asking Andrew if Neil could get it for her instead of just asking Neil in the first place.

Aaron joked about how Claire seemed to like Andrew over everyone else in the world, but Andrew hadn’t taken him seriously, even when Katelyn had agreed. Now he had to admit there might be something to that.

When everyone left Claire waved them goodbye from Andrew’s arms. She’d see them again in a couple of days, but they had decided to have Christmas be just an Andrew and Claire day, spent lazing around in pajamas, baking cookies, and watching movies together. 

Claire didn’t leave Andrew’s arms the entire day. She wanted to be held when she woke up, carried down the stairs, and then sat on Andrew’s lap for breakfast. When they laid on the couch to watch a movie Claire settled down on his chest, listening to his heart and telling him how pretty it sounded. Andrew couldn’t remember a time in his life anyone had said something about him was pretty, and he liked that this innocent toddler was the first one to see it.


	10. Chapter 10

A few days later Andrew’s family went home, work started up again, and life quickly went back to normal. The adjustment was quick, within two days they were back to their pre-Christmas schedule: Claire went to Neil’s, Andrew picked her up early so they could spend the afternoon together, then Andrew got some extra work done after she went to bed. The only difference was that Andrew started inviting Neil over to dinner occasionally, usually on nights Neil said he hadn’t slept well. 

“Do you want kids?” Andrew asked after dinner one night.

Claire played alone in her bedroom, reading books and talking to herself while they loaded up the dishwasher. 

“I have kids,” Neil said as he rinsed a plate. “Do you mean adopt like you? I would gladly take in any child that needed a home.”

“You’re not a foster parent.” Andrew sent him a raised eyebrow. 

“I spend so much time focused on other people’s children.” Neil shrugged, waving his hands as words failed him. “It wouldn't be fair to foster a child and then force them to share their home with 10 other kids constantly.”

“I think you are overestimating the quality of the foster system.”

Neil sighed. “Maybe, but I hope not. These kids deserve love and support, and I just don’t know that I can offer it.”

“So that’s a no then?” Andrew eyed him, watching for a reaction. He put another plate in the dishwasher as he waited. “To wanting kids.”

“I’m not against having children, I love my kids.” Neil made a frustrated sound and chewed at the inside of his cheek. “I’m just not actively seeking it out right now.”

Andrew snorted, closing the dishwasher door and starting it. Now that he had Claire, he never wanted to give her up, but this wasn’t part of his big life plan. Having children was for other people, he’d help kids who needed it but he wasn’t supposed to keep them. The universe had other plans.

“Yeah,” Andrew said with a sigh. “That’s what I thought too.”

Andrew walked to the couch and Neil followed one step behind him, throwing himself on the cushions as Andrew sat down.

“You know I kind of hated you at first,” Neil admitted, glaring at the ceiling. “I know Claire better than anyone other than Marie, you didn’t know her at all. But you walked in and took her like she was yours, when I was right there.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow without commenting, letting Neil work through his emotions without judging him. 

“I don’t think I could have ever handled the situation as well as you have. You’re so good with her.” Neil shrugged, at a loss for words again. “I wasn’t even jealous, I just wanted what was best for her and you were so fucking lost that first day I didn’t think it was you. But… I get it now, Marie was right.”

“Thank you.” Andrew took a deep breath. “Thank you, Neil.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the faint chatter of Claire playing alone in her room.

“I’m checking out preschools next weekend, wanna come?” Andrew asked. 

Open house for spring term was starting. It was meant for kids who had turned three during the fall term, but Andrew wanted to use it to look at preschools for the fall. He refused to start Claire off in the middle of the year. Neil’s daycare was just as good, and Andrew wasn’t even sure if he wanted Claire to go to a legitimate preschool.

Neil looked him over for a moment, taking time to decide, finally he shrugged. 

“If you need help, sure.”

After a few minutes of talking over the logistics of when and where, Neil went home so Andrew could get Claire ready for bed. On his way up the stairs Andrew paused, listening to her tell herself the same story he had been reading every night all week. She liked to read the same books repeatedly until she had the story memorized. This week's tale was about Dragons who loved Tacos.

“Hey Clary Sage, ready for bed?” 

Claire jumped at the sound of his voice, sending him a glare. Andrew could see what other people meant when they said she was starting to be a lot like him. She had perfected her glare over the last few months. 

“No, Leaf.” She opened the book and started the story over. “No sleeping for Claire.”

“Hmmm, how about we read this book one time together and then you take a bath?” Andrew sat down and accepted the book when she handed it to him. “How does that sound?”

“Good,” Claire said with a yawn. 

By the time the book was read and the bath was taken, Claire was falling asleep. She barely managed to make it to her own bed before passing out. Andrew sat down on the floor and brushed her hair out of her face, watching her peaceful expression as she slept. Not much tugged on his heart the same way this child did, he was planning for her future like he knew the outcome, while silently waiting for the day they came to take her away. Getting her a good early education would set her up for success no matter where she ended up. 

Watching someone sleep had never seemed like a pleasant activity. Andrew always thought it had to be boring, there was literally nothing to do other than look at their face, yet he found himself sitting on the floor of his nursery, watching his toddler snore lightly. She looked so grown up when she was awake, times like this reminded him how small and fragile she was. Little more than a baby, taking the world on. 

After dropping Claire off at Josten’s Home to have a playdate with her friends from daycare, Andrew headed to Neil’s actual home to pick him up. Preschool open houses started early on Saturday’s and Andrew wanted to pick up Claire early enough for her to have her nap at home. He saw Matt, who he remembered from the funeral, in Neil’s window waving goodbye with the children who came on Saturday’s. Andrew knew that Neil had employees to help run the shelter, but he hadn’t realized any of them would work with the daycare too. It made sense, there was no way for Neil to be healthy enough to care for children 365 days a year, he had just never thought about it too hard. 

As they drove Neil chatted about the pros and cons of each school, knowing more than Andrew’s initial research had come up with. Neil knew classroom sizes, teacher histories, and curriculum. It made sense seeing as Neil was in a similar profession, but it was still a surprise. Sometimes he felt like he knew Neil, and other times he felt like he was a stranger. 

The first school was a bust immediately. Andrew didn’t like the parking lot or the entryway. They barely made it in the door before he was turning around and heading back out again.

“If this is how the day’s going to go, we could just stop now,” Neil suggested when they got back in the car.

Andrew pulled out of the spot and rolled his eyes. One failed attempt did not mean they would all fail. Though he did have to admit that the first stop failing put a damper on things. 

The second stop was better, but still not what Andrew was looking for. The results seemed too good to be true, and he didn’t like a school that lied to him right off the bat. Yeah, sure, maybe some kids learned how to read at 4 years old, but there was no way they could assure him over half the class did. Preschool was meant to be a fun way to get kids used to a classroom setting, not to force information down their throats. 

After that one, Andrew was ready to give up and keep her at Neil’s for another year, but Neil really wanted to check out the third place on his list. It was a small preschool run out of the mother-in-law suite of a house not too far from Neil’s. The woman had retired from teaching grade school at 55 and decided she had a few more good teaching years left. Neil knew her by reputation only and was excited to finally meet her; she had sent a few women to his services, and he had sent a few mothers information on her school in return. 

“Hello,” teacher Wendy said from the door of the mother-in-law suite as they got out of the car. “Welcome.”

Andrew nodded at her while Neil introduced himself. 

“We’re looking for the perfect school for Miss Claire,” Neil explained. “She’s with me during the day right now, but we both think she’d do well in a more formal preschool setting.”

“Of course.” Wendy smiled so wide Andrew thought she might be an alien. “How old is Claire?”

“Three,” Andrew answered. “She’ll be four when she starts.”

“Well, we have our Monday, Wednesday, Friday class for our four-and five-year-olds. Is that what you’re looking for?”

Neil nodded. “Any time and days work, she’ll be staying with me for the rest of the week while Andrew’s at work.”

“I care more about the quality than the quantity,” Andrew added. 

Wendy nodded, leading them into the schoolroom and showing them around. At the end of the tour she explained how she liked to work learning into playtime so it was less intimidating for the kids, they were able to learn without even realizing it was happening. 

“With two caring dads like you, I’m sure she’ll do great here.” Wendy handed Neil a stack of paperwork for enrollment. “If you’re still thinking of a fall start, we’d love to have her visit later in the spring, but if you’re thinking of a spring start, she can visit anytime.”

“I think we’re set on a fall start,” Andrew said, taking the paperwork from Neil and scanning over it. “I’ll talk to Claire and see if she wants to visit, she has the final say on where she goes. I won’t make her go somewhere she doesn’t like.”

Wendy smiled at him again, too wide and friendly. “Oh, of course. I’d hate for any child to be stuck in a school they don’t enjoy.”

Andrew looked over the papers in more detail as Neil said his goodbyes, thanking Wendy for her work in sending people his way. He focused on his reading when Wendy started thanking Neil for the work he did in the community, it felt too personal for Andrew to listen to even though they were having the conversation right next to him.

“Ready?” Neil asked a moment later. 

They walked to the car in silence, both thinking over their options. Andrew thought three days a week at school and two with Neil might be too much for Claire to handle, but then again, she was always surprising him.

“What did you think?” Neil asked when they pulled into his driveway. 

“Wendy seems like a perfectly nice teacher.”

“And?” Neil prompted.

“And what?”

“Andrew.”

“Neil.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Neil sighed and deflated slightly. 

“She thought we were together,” Andrew said, watching Neil for a reaction.

“You have a problem with her not being a bigot?” Neil blinked at him. “Seriously?”

“I’m gay, Neil.”

Neil blinked at him again. “You’re gay and you’re still upset she’s not homophobic? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Andrew rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I don’t have a problem with her assuming I’m gay. I am gay.”

“Then what?” Neil looked completely lost.

Andrew felt defensive. Over what, he didn’t know. “Why do you think she thought we were together?”

“Because we went to check out the school together?” Neil shrugged. “I’m assuming that is something people tend to do with their partners.”

Neil was attractive, and kind, and caring, and slowly worming his way into Andrew’s heart, and now he didn’t have a problem with people assuming they were dating or had children together. It was too much for him. “Okay.”

“So,” Neil said slowly, drawing out the word. “That’s a no to Wendy then?”

“If she’s still with me in the fall, Claire can go to Wendy’s.” Andrew made a mental note to look over his budget and see what he could afford. 

“Awesome.” Neil grinned at him. “She’ll do great there.”


	11. Chapter 11

Neil meant it when he said he would force Andrew to go shopping for Valentine's day in January. Three weeks before the big day Andrew was forced into the seasonal aisle at Target, looking over various stuffed animals as Neil judged his choices. Andrew started letting Claire go on more play dates on the weekend which meant he had a few hours to kill on Sunday mornings with nothing to do other than bother Neil. Sundays used to be for sleeping in, a memory long forgotten. Even when Claire managed to sleep in, Andrew’s body woke him up early and his anxious mind forced him to check on her. Never before had he been an anxious person, Claire had a way of bringing out impossible things in Andrew. 

“Pink bunny?” Andrew asked, holding up two overly expensive toys. “Or blue cow?”

“You are genuinely terrible at this.” Neil’s voice had no note of sarcasm in it. “Are you thinking about Claire and her personality or just guessing?”

“She’s three and her favorite toys are a fox Christmas ornament and a stuffed crocodile that she thinks eats bad guys.” Andrew almost laughed at the absurdity. “I doubt she cares what I get her for Valentine's day.”

“Alright Mr. Grumpy Gills, let’s go.” Neil grabbed Andrew’s sleeve and dragged him out of the aisle. 

He barely had time to put the toys down as he stumbled after Neil. There was no one else on earth Andrew would let get away with treating him like that. Not even Claire could grab his arm and drag him across a store. He only let Neil because he had a feeling he was about to be lectured about something stupid, and he didn’t want that to happen in the middle of a candy aisle in Target. 

Neil didn’t turn to speak to him until they were in the parking lot, standing in front of Andrew’s car. 

“Listen here, because I am only going to say this about a thousand more times.” Neil spoke with the fiercest expression Andrew had ever seen. “You are everything to that child. You are her entire life. This isn’t about some stupid holiday to sell cards, this is about you showing Claire that you love her as much as she loves you. Andrew, do you even understand how important you are in her life?”

Andrew shrugged. “Claire is three, do you understand that?”

“Do you listen to what I say? Ever? We’ve had this conversation before.” Neil rubbed his face with his hands and glared at Andrew. “She might not remember that you got her a two dollar box of candy and a ten-dollar stuffed animal, but she will remember that you love her and treated her like a princess. You need to stop acting like she’s going to leave you and accept that regardless of what happens, you will want to have these memories with her. It’s been six months.”

“Five,” Andrew corrected.

“Don’t interrupt me. It’s been six months, you need to accept that you will forever be a part of her life because you spent six months caring for her. Stop moping around.”

Andrew dampened his emotions, throwing a bucket of water on the fire Neil was trying to start. “I am not moping.”

“I swear to God, Andrew, if that is all you got out of this conversation I will punch you.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, Andrew turned away and walked toward the Build-A-Bear on the other side of the parking lot. “Come on dickhead, let’s go see if we can find a fox or a crocodile.”

Unfortunately, Build-A-Bead didn’t have either of those in-store, but they did have a cute pig with a curly tail that Andrew knew Claire would fall in love with instantly. When they stopped for lunch Andrew pulled up the store website on his phone and ordered a crocodile and fox to be delivered to his house so he could give them to Claire the next time she had a bad day. He was not good with his words like Neil was, but he was good with his actions. Neil watched him spend almost 75 dollars on stuffed animals, if that didn’t show he was trying to do better, he didn’t know what would. 

It was difficult to hide the box from Claire for three weeks. She slept in his room often enough that he couldn’t hide it there, and she went in the second children’s bedroom regularly, despite it being against the rules. Andrew had to put it inside an old suitcase in the garage to keep it away from her. A few days before the holiday, Andrew gave Claire a few dollars and let her pick out a present for him. He pretended not to see it as she carried it through the store while holding his hand, even closing his eyes when she handed it to the cashier. 

Andrew decorated the house with pink streamers while Claire was at Neil’s Valentine’s day party, then ordered a fancy meal to be delivered at exactly 5 pm. He wanted Claire to feel like the most special kid in the world when she was with him, because to him she was. He had always treated her like she was his own kid, and loved her the same too, but Neil was right. He needed to change his mindset, expecting her to be taken away any day was not doing them any favors. 

Claire lit up when she walked in the house, smiling brighter than the north star. She walked around the living room in awe, reaching out to touch every decoration she could reach. Her rainbow tutu and her rainbow polka dot shirt clashed with her green crocodile, and it was the most beautiful thing that Andrew had ever seen.

“Look Andrew.” Claire pointed at the streamers on the ceiling. “The fairies left us a present.”

“The fairies did this?” Andrew asked, playing along.

Claire nodded. “They must really like us.”

Andrew picked her up so she could touch the streamer. “Do you like it?”

“I love, love it. So much.” Claire smiled and patted his cheek. “The fairies really like you, did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.”

She pulled him in for a hug, tangling her hand in his hair. “I love you, Leafy.”

“I love you too, Clary Sage.” Andrew hugged her back just as tightly as Neil’s words rang in his head.

He hated that Neil was right, but he got over it quickly because it helped him with Claire. Sure, being there for her every day was great, but he did need to take extra time out to show her just how special she was. 

A knock on the door sounded, causing Claire to gasp in his ear. 

“Who’s here?” 

“I don’t know, why don’t we go check?”

Andrew carried her down the stairs to the door, letting her open it to find the delivery man standing there. 

“Look Leaf, the fairies got us food too!” 

Claire danced in his arms as he attempted to sign the receipt and accept the takeout bag from the man, who seemed to be laughing at him. Andrew rolled his eyes and handed Claire a ten-dollar bill for a tip. She handed it to him without pausing her dancing, and the guy burst out laughing. 

“Have a good night,” the man called out as Andrew started to shut the door.

“Happy Valentine's day, I love you food man,” Claire said before Andrew could stop her.

The man’s laughter followed them up the stairs, Andrew hoped the ten-dollar tip was worth whatever trouble he got into for taking so long on their delivery. 

As Andrew dished up the food Claire turned on the TV and picked a movie. It was slightly concerning that she was able to navigate Netflix without being able to read, but he decided that was a problem for another time. They didn’t watch tv every day, and rarely during mealtimes, so he let it go and focused on having a special night. He brought the food over to the coffee table and set it down, taking up his spot on the couch. 

Claire patted the floor next to his feet. “No, here.”

“I don’t want to sit on the floor right now,” Andrew said with a soft smile. 

“Sit with me.” Claire sent him her best pout. “Why won't you sit with me, Andrew?”

He slid down the couch, landing exactly where she wanted him to sit. Before he could process what was happening, she climbed on his lap and started eating the food off of his plate.

“Hey, that’s mine.”

“No,” Claire looked up at him with her big hazel eyes. “Neil says we’re supposed to share.”

Andrew reached forward and grabbed a bite from Claire’s plate, expecting her to get mad. Instead, she smiled at him and grabbed the fork from his hand so she could attempt to feed him. He laughed, almost choking on his food as she attempted to shove the fork in his mouth. 

“Okay, we can share my plate,” Andrew said as he cleared his throat. “But we have to feed ourselves.”

“Aw, that’s not fair.” Claire crossed her arms and threw herself back against his chest. 

“Hey, Claire. I just remembered there's a present for you on your bed.”

He had meant to save it for bedtime, which is why he had put it there, but it was worth preventing a meltdown to give it to her now. Claire hopped up and grabbed his hand, she ‘helped’ him stand him too then led the way upstairs. 

“A piggy,” Claire screamed as she caught a glimpse of the stuffed animal on her bed. “I. Love. Her.”

She hugged the pig tightly until Andrew came over and wrapped her in an equally tight hug and kissed her cheek.

“Thank you Leafy.”

Andrew kissed her hair to hide his blush. “You are welcome baby.” 

After the movie ended they played in the bathtub and got ready for bed. Andrew already had five more ideas for special nights with Claire. They had their routine, which they had perfected over the months, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t shake it up every now and then. During the holiday’s things had been disrupted, and they both liked the order January brought back to their lives, however, Andrew had to admit making things a little extra special every once in a while was pretty nice.

He laid in bed the next morning enjoying a rare day where Claire slept past 7 am. The house was eerily quiet, causing Andrew to think about how much had changed yet again. He used to love waking up to a silent house, now he wished Claire would get up so they could start their day. 

His phone rang, breaking him out of his trance. 

“Hello,” Andrew said, rubbing his hand over his eyes.

“Andrew, good morning. I’m sorry to call so early, but I thought you’d like to hear the news as soon as possible.” It took Andrew a moment to place the voice. Claire’s caseworker Perkins. If Andrew was more awake, he would have started freaking out. “Everything is going great around here and I just found out you will be able to adopt Claire in May.”

“Oh?” Andrew asked, not processing the words. 

“I know, it’s so fast. I expected this to take a least a year.” Perkins continued to ramble about paperwork and forms and other things that Andrew wasn’t listening to. 

He caught the important part though, in just a few months Claire would be his forever. There was no way he could tell Claire now, she’d get upset it couldn’t happen sooner, but he had to tell someone. Nicky would be at work, the six-hour time difference making it the busiest part of his day. Aaron would be getting ready for work, or maybe he was already at work. That left only one person.

“Hello,” Neil said on the other end of the line. 

“She’s mine,” Andrew said cryptically.

Neil caught on immediately. “You’re adopting her? When is it official?”

“May.” Andrew sighed, finally letting the news sink in. His hands shook as a smile overtook his face. “Neil, she’s mine.”


	12. Chapter 12

As February came to an end, Andrew started to get excited. In a little over two months Claire would be his daughter officially. She was already his child, if he was honest he had thought of her as his own since the day he brought her home. This was different. This was a judge and a piece of paper saying that they were a family. This was knowing she would never be taken away from him. 

The first thing Andrew did to seal the deal in his mind was take Claire to Ikea, Target, the Container Store, and anywhere else she liked and let her pick out a whole new bedroom set. She chose a lofted big girl bed that she could play under with rainbow sheets and blankets to finish it off. He quickly learned that Claire loved interior design and he let her get anything she wanted. Despite buying her bed, dresser, and bookshelves at four different stores, they all went well together. If he hadn’t known where they were from he would have sworn they were a set. Andrew even splurged and hired someone to set it all up for him so he didn’t have to. Taking apart the old crib and bed in her room was hard enough, putting the new furniture together too was just too much.

The second thing Andrew did to make his life as a parent official was start looking for a new car. His sports car was nice, he loved it almost as much as he loved Claire, but it was not useful. Her car seat took up half the backseat, and she was only going to get bigger. Andrew refused to trade in his most prized possession, so he decided to let it live in the garage and drive it when he wasn’t with Claire. The new car would be for his daily activities, like taking Claire to and from Neil’s, and all the adventures they went on. 

He didn’t need two cars; he didn’t even really want two cars, but as a child who grew up with nothing, he wanted to keep his first big purchase. It was probably the most sentimental thing he had ever done. 

Andrew looked at safety specs online, checking to see which car would be the safest while also having enough room for Claire’s car seat. He wanted to rule out trucks and SUVs because he hated them, but he couldn’t get rid of them completely, a big vehicle was safe in a crash. After weeks of research, he settled on Subaru and started looking for something he would like nearby. The bright blue’s and red’s the cars came in put him off, if he was going to buy a mid-size SUV it had to be black. With leather seats. And every addition money could buy. There was no way he was going to be saddled with a child-friendly car that offered him nothing else, he needed comfort and style too. 

When it came time to test drive, Andrew made Neil come along. His excuse was that Neil knew more about child-friendly cars than he did, but really it was because he liked hanging out with him. They were a weird set of friends, but they worked well together, and Neil would tell him if he was being stupid by spending 35 thousand dollars on a souped-up Crosstrek. 

Andrew knew the car was a good idea, but the addons he wanted that upped the price by almost 8 thousand dollars were not really necessary. 

“Subaru’s are good cars,” Neil said as he looked over the stats on his phone. 

They were off to test drive their first car to see if Andrew really wanted that one. Just because the Crosstrek looked good online did not mean it would feel good to drive, especially since Andrew was only five feet tall and most cars were made for people taller than a fourth-grader. 

“Ohhh, this blue is pretty.” Neil tilted the phone in his direction. Andrew refused to look over as he drove. “Oh my god, have you seen this gray? It’s not really gray, it's more like a powder blue. Seriously, it’s so cool, are you sure you want black?”

Andrew glanced down at his black Adidas joggers, black Topshop long-sleeved shirt, black Adidas sneakers, and black socks, then over to Neil with a raised eyebrow. 

“I know you have to keep with your whole aesthetic or whatever, but seriously, Andrew, seriously, it comes in so many pretty colors. Even the yellow is pretty. I have never said yellow is pretty in my entire life.”

Neil wasn’t wrong, the car did come in a lot of nice colors, but black was the only color that worked for him. The others were pretty, while black was sleek and sexy. The others screamed ‘I have kids’, while the black said ‘I will fuck you up and you will thank me for it’. Blue and yellow were nice colors, but Andrew was not a nice man, having a daughter didn’t change that. 

Having a daughter, now that was a new thought. 

Andrew Minyard, lawyer, homeowner, sports car driver, had a daughter. 

What a revelation.

As they pulled into the dealership Neil put his phone away and eyed all the cars. “How set are you on the Crosstrek, because they have some nice SUVs and Sedans if you’re interested.”

“You can buy whatever you want for yourself. I will buy what I want for myself.” Andrew hadn’t done weeks of research just to be questioned like he knew nothing. 

When they got out of the car an overly happy woman walked over to them and started on her spiel, instantly putting Andrew off. 

“Hello, Liz,” Neil said kindly when Andrew didn’t respond to her. “I’m Neil, this is Andrew, we’re here to look at your Crosstrek selection. I think we were interested in the Crosstrek limited, is that right, Andrew?”

Andrew rolled his eyes and nodded. He had spotted one on the way in and just wanted to get the keys and go for a test drive, but he knew they had to play the social niceties game to get there.

“The Crosstrek is an impressive vehicle, perfect for a first time SUV owner, what drew you to it?”

While Neil chatted with the overly friendly woman Andrew started to walk over to the car he had been eying. It was the stupid gray-blue color Neil liked, but otherwise it was perfect. Leather seats, moonroof, most of the addons Andrew had picked for himself. Neil and Liz followed him over, keeping up their chatter.

“Can we test drive this one?” Andrew asked when there was finally a lull in the conversation. 

“Yes, of course,” Liz said with a bright smile. “I’ll just need to make a copy of your license and… actually, were both of you hoping to drive it today?”

“Oh no, it’s going to be Andrew’s car,” Neil answered. “I have a minivan, I know it’s such a dad car, but it’s so useful for traveling with kids.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Liz said, nodding along. “Andrew needs enough room for a car seat. Well, this one will definitely fit anything you need. How old are your kids?”

“My daughter is three and a half,” Andrew answered. It was the first time he had said it out loud and meant it. 

“Oh, that’s such a good age, they're so independent. Aw, my son just turned six, I miss those days.” Liz clapped her hands together. “Okay, license and I’ll go get those keys.”

By the end of the test drive, Andrew knew it was the car for him. It was big enough to keep up with Claire as she grew, and it was stylish enough to fit Andrew now. He liked the smooth ride and the comfortable seats. It took him longer to pick addons and sign paperwork than it had for him to decide it was the car he wanted. Within two hours he was the owner of a car that would be delivered to him in two weeks. 

Neil rolled his neck as he stretched his arms behind his back. “Well, that was painstakingly boring.”

“Lunch?” Andrew asked, starting his car as he waited for Neil to finish stretching and get in.

“Panera?” Neil suggested. “There’s one a few blocks away.”

Andrew nodded, pulling out quickly when Neil finally closed his door. They were silent as they drove, but he couldn’t help but break it to say something he should probably keep to herself. 

“She thought we were together.” 

Neil huffed out a laugh. “That seems to be a theme with us. I don't think many people buy cars with their friends.”

“I bought the car by myself.” Andrew gripped the steering wheel tighter, he knew it wasn’t what Neil meant, but he hated the suggestion that he needed help paying for things. 

“Ah,” Neil said, voice low and smooth. “You paid for it by yourself, you bought it with me.”

“Semantics.”

“You can’t get mad about semantics and then tell me off for pointing out the meaning.” Neil popped his neck and turned to look out the window. “You know, you’re doing pretty well for yourself. Not many people would be able to take in a child, work their finances around that, and be able to buy a brand new car in the same year.”

They pulled into the parking lot before Andrew thought of a good reply. Thanking him seemed stupid, and there was nothing else to say, so he stayed quiet. 

They ordered food together and Neil paid, claiming it was a treat because Andrew had just made such a big decision.

“I really like the basic Crosstrek,” Neil said as they ate. “I don’t see why you needed to soup it up.”

“You and I are very different people,” Andrew said, thinking about how true it was in some ways.

In others they couldn’t be more similar. They were both survivors, having seen the worst in humanity at very young ages. They were friends, but Andrew wasn’t sure he was ready to share that whole story yet.

“You know, I grew up in foster care, from birth,” Andrew started and stopped himself, thinking of the best way to continue. “I never got adopted, but I did go back to my bio family at 16. They weren’t good people, but neither were any of my foster parents.”

Neil smiled softly at him. “You became the person you needed as a child, not a lot of people can say that. That’s something to be proud of.”

Andrew nodded, letting that sink in. “So did you.”

“Umm…” Neil froze, looking puzzled. “I always wanted to help abused women get away from their abusers, you know, for my mom. Be the person she needed. I never realized I became the person I needed too.”

“You’re a good man.” Andrew had no idea how they got from buying a car to personal revelations, but they did. 

“So are you.”

There were a lot of people who had said that to Andrew before, clients and their families mostly, but he had never believed it before. When Neil said it he knew it was true. 

The rest of the drive was silent. Andrew dropped Neil off at his house and then went to go pick up Claire from her friends. He was proud of her for making friends she was close enough to have play dates with, and he loved having free babysitters for a few hours on the weekends. On the way home, he told Claire all about their new car, enjoying her excitement more than he could ever enjoy the car itself. 

That night, after Claire was fast asleep in her new big girl bed, with her new fox build-a-bear Andrew had given her to help her transition to a new bed, he thought about Neil. He thought about how much of a help he was in his everyday life outside of babysitting. They hung out most nights now—Neil would come over after work to have a meal he didn’t have to cook himself—and Neil had been involved in every big decision he had made in the last three months.   


Somehow, without either of them realizing it, they had basically started dating. It suddenly made sense why the preschool teacher and the people at the car dealership thought they were together, it was because they acted like it. Neil knew Andrew was gay but had mentioned nothing about his own sexuality. Since he was Claire’s babysitter, and therefore providing Andrew with a service, it would be wrong for them to date. 

Andrew had no idea what to do, and then it came to him. After he adopted Claire he would have the summer off for paternity leave, and then Claire would start preschool in the fall. With Neil no longer babysitting her, they could… they could do something. It was up to Neil to decide what that something would be.


	13. Chapter 13

May 8th.

They drove to the children’s court in the new car, Claire chatting away in her car seat as Andrew did his best to quell his nerves. All he had to do was go in front of a judge, answer a couple questions about caring for Claire and wanting to keep her, and it would be done, but he was more nervous than he had ever been. Even the excited hugs Claire had been giving him all morning did little to calm him down. 

“Are we there yet?” Claire asked as they pulled into the parking lot. 

“See that big building over there?” Andrew said, barely managing to keep his voice even. “That’s where we’re going.”

Claire screamed and clapped her hands together. “Yay.”

Andrew parked and got out of the car, walking around the side to get Claire and looking around the parking lot. They were half an hour early on purpose, all the kids from Claire’s daycare were coming, along with their parents and Neil. Claire spotted her friends and jumped into Andrew’s arms so he could carry her over to them. Andrew bounced her up and down, tuning out the child’s parents as he looked around for more important people. 

Nicky and Erik were supposed to be there, and they were cutting it close. Their plane had been delayed, giving them barely enough time to make it. Aaron’s car pulled in a second later and a wave of relief rushed over Andrew. If Nicky couldn’t come, at least Aaron could. They hadn’t known if he would be available, he was supposed to be on call, but he must have managed to trade his shift.

“Aaron,” Claire screamed when she saw him. 

They hadn’t met in person since Christmas, but Claire and Aaron hugged like they were long-lost friends.

“Excited?” Aaron asked both of them.

Andrew shrugged while Claire screamed in Aaron’s ear, causing him to grimace. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Neil!” 

Andrew turned to look where Claire was pointing. Neil was walking toward them, chatting with a mom while carrying a toddler. He handed the woman her child and opened his arms to take Claire from Aaron. 

“Hi baby,” Neil said as he kissed her hair. “I like your rainbow tutu and your rainbow shirt.”

“Thank you.” Claire beamed at him. “My Leafy got them for me.”

Neil hummed, smiling at the silly nickname. “I think your Leafy is a pretty cool guy.”

“Me too, I love him.”

Claire leaned out of Neil’s arms to get to Andrew.

“I love you too, Clary Sage.” Andrew ignored the looks he got from Aaron and Neil, opting to hug Claire tightly instead. 

“Alright.” Neil clapped his hands together. “If everyone’s here, I think it’s time we head in.”

“Wait for us,” a deep voice called from behind them. 

Andrew turned to see Nicky and Erik sprinting from the far side of the parking lot. Erik was breathing normally when he reached the group, but Nicky was panting like he hadn’t run in years.

“Oh thank god, we made it.” Nicky clapped Andrew on the shoulder, and Andrew allowed it. “I was so worried we’d be late.”

Andrew let himself smile. “Now everyone’s here.”

They headed into the courtroom. The audience sat in the chairs while Andrew headed up front to meet his lawyer. He had been in this position plenty of times, sitting in front of a judge waiting for an adoption to be finalized, but he had never been on this side of it. Andrew had a new appreciation for his clients and their bravery as he stood there, holding his baby, waiting to become her father. He rocked her from side to side just to soothe himself as the excitement and anxiety threatened to bubble over.

The judge went through his normal spiel, giving a speech about caring for her like she was his own, asking him a few questions about his ability to care for her, and then finally asking Claire if she wanted him to be her dad.

“Yes,” Claire cheered. “I love my Andrew.”

Andrew hugged her tighter and kissed her hair. “I love you too.”

Before they knew it they were finished. The judge smiled at them and signed the papers, and then it was over. It was a blink and you miss it moment for Andrew. He knew there was slightly more to it than that, but that’s what it felt like. 

Claire Marie Watts Minyard. 

Andrew Minyard had a daughter. 

He walked out of the courtroom in a daze, carrying Claire, and listening to her excited chatter was the only thing that grounded him. In less than half an hour, Andrew had gone from fostering a toddler to being a father. The weight of the decision hit him as he sat on the bench in front of the courthouse, holding his daughter, listening to the inane chatter of the large group that had gathered to watch him and Claire become a family. 

Claire wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as she could. Then he hugged her back as tightly as he could.

They went to a nearby park to have lunch as a group. Andrew sat on the grass watching his daughter play with her friends as they chased Nicky around the playground. 

“Hey,” Neil said, flopping down next to him. “You okay?”

Andrew refused to look away from Claire as he answered. “She’s mine. She’s really mine forever.”

Neil laughed. “It’s a bit late to be getting cold feet there, bud.”

“I don’t have cold feet.” Andrew rolled his eyes, finally looking at Neil. “I just can’t believe it. Am I dreaming?”

“Should I pinch you to see if you wake up?” Neil laughed at Andrew’s responding glare. 

Aaron sat down on his other side, nodding at both of them. “Sorry Katelyn couldn’t come. No one would trade shifts with me, so she had to cover it.”

“Thank you,” Andrew said, letting more emotion slip into his voice than he would have liked. 

He wasn’t good at letting people see how he felt, especially not his brother, but the day was too big for him to keep it all in. Hopefully, Claire would wear herself out playing with her friends and they’d be able to take a long nap together in the afternoon. 

Aaron nodded, knowing Andrew didn’t want or need him to respond. 

Children’s laughter filled the air. The warm breeze washed over Andrew, grounding him in the moment. He let his emotions settle, feeling more at once than he ever thought possible. The love he felt for Claire overwhelmed his senses and he closed his eyes, listening to her laugh.

“Take a walk with me?” Neil suggested.

Andrew opened his eyes and blinked at the bright light, taking Neil’s hand when he offered it. 

“You looked like you needed a break,” Neil said when they were far enough away to not be overheard. 

Andrew nodded, watching Claire climb up the play structure. She looked around, eyebrows furrowing for a moment until she spotted them, face lighting up brighter than a Christmas tree. Andrew and Neil both waved to her, and she waved back to them.

“How's it feel, dad?” 

“It feels…” Andrew closed his eyes, letting it all in. He took a deep breath and smiled. “It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and I got a moment to relax, but then it was replaced by an even heavier one.”

Neil chuckled, patting Andrew on the shoulder. “Let me guess, relief that she’s yours and you never have to worry about her being taken from you. But… hmm… but now you have to worry about parenting her and raising her to be a kind and respectful person.”

“Something like that.” Andrew shrugged and dropped to the ground. “I can do whatever I want now. We could move to Hawaii and open an ice cream shop, living out of a 12 passenger can if we really wanted to.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Fuck no.”

Neil laughed, laying back in the grass and throwing an arm over his eyes. “I didn’t think so. Let me know if you think of any big changes you want to make. I’ll help you pack up, but I won’t help you move to Hawaii, I hate airports.”

It was Andrew’s turn to laugh, he surprised himself with how freely it came. “I think I know what I want, but it may take a while to get it.”

If Neil picked up what Andrew was putting down, he didn’t let on. He seemed to think they were still talking about moving. Andrew wondered if Neil was just acting or if he truly didn’t know they had been dancing around something for months. 

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the surrounding noise. Andrew laid his head back and closed his eyes, taking time to breathe in the moment. Children ran and played, adults talked, occasionally there would be a scream of joy filling the air. Andrew enjoyed it more than he ever thought he would. Maybe it was just that he was in a good mood from finally adopting Claire, but maybe it was something else. He had changed as a person more in the last 8 months than he had in the previous 8 years.

Something hard and heavy hit his chest, and then a high laugh filled his ears.

“Hi Daddy,” Claire said as she attempted to pry his eyes open. “Wake up.”

“I’m not asleep, Clairy Berry.” Andrew blinked his eyes and smiled up at her. 

“No.” Claire glared at him. “You say, Clary Sage, Matt says Clairy berry, Neil says Claire Bear.”

“Oh, yes. Of course, my bad.” Andrew wrapped his arms around her and tickled her sides. “How dare I make such a grievous mistake.”

They headed home a few minutes later. Nicky and Erik were in town for a week, while Aaron was only in town for a few nights. Andrew felt bad taking a night to himself while they were there, but they made him. Tonight was his first night as a father, officially, he should spend it alone with his daughter. 

They napped on the couch together, then played in the sprinkler in their nonexistent front yard. It wasn’t anything special, just their normal day off activities, but that made it better somehow. Nothing had changed at all really, just a silly piece of paper giving Andrew peace of mind. 

They got to hang out with Aaron, Erik, and Nicky all weekend, then just Erik and Nicky for a few days before they went home. Andrew loved how easily they fit into his life. He had expected to have a rough time, especially since Christmas hadn’t started well, but his family surprised him. After months of surprises, learning about himself, Claire, and the world of children, he should have been used to them, but it always caught him off guard. In the best way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Shout out to Leah for her absoletely incredible craftsmenship! She made these dolls and accessories by hand!](https://leahlisabeth.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Leahelisabeth on AO3](/users/fortheloveofcamelot/pseuds/Leahelisabeth/)

Setting up for Claire’s fourth birthday party was bitter sweet. His daughter was four now and it was their first birthday as a family, but the day would always miss Marie. 

Neil’s yard was filled with balloons and screaming children significantly too early on a Saturday morning. Andrew was lucky he’d offered his yard for Claire’s fourth birthday party. They’d stayed up way too late decorating the entire bottom floor and garden with streamers and balloons. Claire picked a fairy and gnome theme, which Andrew had spared no expense making happen. He filled Neil’s yard with gnomes, his house with fairies, and topped it off with a giant gnome shaped cake. 

It was so spectacularly over the top that Andrew passed hating it and had almost looped back around to liking it. Claire loved it, and that was all that really mattered. She danced around the house in her wings from Halloween, singing made-up songs and trying to make anyone she got close to join in. 

Her friends loved it too. A gaggle of preschoolers, with their own wings strapped to their backs, ran in and out of the house playing some sort of game that Andrew could not make sense of. He sat in the kitchen and watched as they ran laps around the island while singing about whales. Andrew hadn’t touched anything stronger than aspirin in years, but he wanted to try whatever those kids had because there was no way that much weird energy was natural. 

“Dance with me, Leafy,” Claire said, running up to him and grabbing his hands.

He followed her out into the yard and swayed back and forth while she threw her arms and legs in every direction regardless of the beat of the music. 

“Woah, look at you go,” Andrew said, cheering her on.

“Can I dance too?” Neil asked, appearing out of thin air. 

Claire let go of one of Andrew’s hands to grab one of Neils. With his newly freed hand, Andrew reached out and grabbed Neil’s other hand, and they all danced together. Neil did more than Andrew’s simple sway from side to side, but he did less than Claire’s throw her body around and call it dancing. Claire laughed, throwing her head back and letting it take over her body. There was no purer sound than a child's laughter. Andrew found himself smiling with her, letting the sound seep into his bones and change his entire makeup. 

Neil seemed to be doing the same. He smiled and squeezed Andrew’s hand, laughing softly under his breath. The moment would have been perfect, if only they weren’t surrounded by people. 

When the song ended Claire let go of their hand and ran off to ask another group to dance with her. Andrew didn’t let go of Neil’s hand, not immediately, and Neil didn’t let go of his. Instead, they stood in the middle of Neil’s garden, holding hands, smiling at a group of preschoolers dancing.

“So,” Andrew said, gently pulling on Neil’s hand to guide him to the edge of the garden. “Is this… umm… a typical children’s birthday party?”

Neil looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “Yes?”

He had no idea what else to say and decided not to respond. They stood in silence, holding hands until Neil cleared his throat and scratched at his light stubble. 

“So,” he started, stopping when words failed him. 

“So?” Andrew asked, prolonging the awkward silence. Their hands were getting sweaty in the southern summer heat, but neither of them made a move to disconnect.

“I guess we’re holding hands now.”

Andrew shrugged. “I guess so.”

After months of people thinking they were together wherever they went shopping, and hanging out more often than not, they should have been ready for this. 

Neil hummed, looking away, eyes catching something in the distance. 

“Is that a problem?” Neil shook his head, giving Andrew just enough of an answer to make him brave. “Maybe we could kiss sometime too.”

Neil coughed, caught off guard. He turned to search Andrew’s face, opening his mouth and then closing it when no words came out. 

“That is…” words failed Andrew momentarily. “If you know... If you want to.”

“Uh, yeah.” Neil ran his free hand through his hair. “Yeah, that sounds good to me.”

They were saved from the awkward moment when Claire spotted them, calling out for Andrew. She demanded they eat lunch, and he couldn’t find a reason to say no. After lunch was cake, then presents, then playing with the presents as Andrew sat in a pile of boxes opening toys as the children demanded them. 

When everyone left, Claire leaned against his back, watching him open her new doll and gasping every time Andrew closed the scissors.

“Don’t hurt her,” Claire cried in his ear. “Leafy, be careful, she’s just a baby.”

Andrew smiled to himself, slowly making the next cut on the wires. “Don’t worry, I’ll be super extra specially careful with my grandchild.”

“I’m worried about her.” Claire rubbed her cheek on his hair. “Is she okay?”

“She’s doing great, I promise.” Andrew put his arm behind his back and patted Claire’s hip. “You’re such a good parent, Sagey.”

Claire walked around and sat in front of him, patting her doll’s hair. “It’s okay baby, you’ll be out soon.”

“What is her name?” Andrew asked in an attempt to distract her.

“Ummm…” Claire shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Andrew thought about it for a minute, coming up with a shortlist. 

“What about Marie?” Neil asked as he joined them.

“Yeah!” Claire climbed on Neil’s lap, watching carefully as Andrew finally freed her baby. “I like Marie.”

Andrew leaned over and kissed her hair as he handed her the doll. “I do too.”

Claire cradled the doll in her arms as she walked over to the couch and laid down, yawning to herself. The exciting morning had tired her out, and she was more than ready for a nap. Andrew was going to clean up the packaging so he could take her home, but when he looked over at her again, she was already asleep.

“Well, I guess we tired her out.” Neil chuckled to himself, grabbing some plastic wrapping and throwing it into the garage can he’d brought out when the kids started demanding Andrew open the toys. 

When all the garbage was picked up Andrew sat on a barstool and watched Claire sleep. Neil came over and stood next to him, enjoying the same view. Some people claimed Hawaii or other tropical islands offered the best views in the world, but Andrew knew the truth. The best view was watching someone you love sleep. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Neil cleared his throat. 

“So um… about that thing you mentioned earlier.” He rubbed his hand through his hair and let out a tense laugh.

“The kissing?” Andrew watched Neil’s cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. “Yes, I remember.”

Neil nodded. “Yeah that, uhh, what do you think about that?”

Andrew grabbed Neil’s belt loop and pulled until he was standing between his legs. He raised his hand to Neil’s cheek and let it rest there for a moment, just long enough for Neil to get restless and lean in. Andrew met him halfway, body lighting up with the most electric kiss of his life. He refused to regret holding off on making a move for the last few months, but he had to admit it wasn’t the best choice. He’d missed out on months of doing this. Neil pulled back and looked at him, searching his face for something before leaning in again. 

The second kiss was even better than the first. Andrew moved his hand from Neil’s belt loop to the small of his back, pulling him as close as possible. Neil’s hands found his shoulders, then he wrapped his arms around his neck. 

When Neil pulled back again, he couldn’t go far. He looked dazed, half-drunk from two kisses. 

“So?” Andrew asked, slightly cocky. 

Neil cleared his throat. “Yeah, that was okay. Might need to practice a bit more.”

Andrew rolled his eyes, leaning in again. 

Life dating Neil wasn’t much different than life just being friends with Neil. They still hung out almost every night, and sometimes on the weekends. The only big difference was that they kissed after Claire went to bed. Andrew wanted to tell Claire, but he didn’t want her to get hurt if something went wrong, which Neil fully agreed with. 

They both dropped her off on her first day of preschool, not because she needed it, but because Andrew did. He needed Neil there to tell him she would thrive in a more formal learning environment with new friends. He didn’t cry when he watched her walk into the classroom without a backward glance, but he did choke up a little bit. They had both grown so much over the last year and then some. Andrew remembered his old life, one that he had been happy with at the time, and thought it looked lonely and sad now. He couldn’t imagine life without Claire, and even Neil sometimes too. 

It took them nearly six months to tell her they were dating, and when they finally did, she cried tears of joy. The love in their house only grew, every day filling Andrew’s heart more and more. More than he ever thought possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading and following along!

**Author's Note:**

> [find me on tumblr](https://autumnalpalmetto.tumblr.com/)   
>  [and twitter](https://twitter.com/autumnalfox)


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